Personal Development

Baby Talk: How to Answer an Age-old Unwanted Question

Every holiday I am reminded how well-meaning people can make feel completely uncomfortable with one little question: When are you having a baby?
It’s a question I get quite often from all kinds of people - some know me very well, others are casual acquaintances. I know that these people generally have my best interest at heart and are often just trying to make conversation. However, it’s a question I don’t usually want to answer. (And, I don’t think I’m alone in this.)

There are so many instances where this question is inappropriate (What if we had been trying and were struggling, and I broke down in tears!); it’s just not one that should be asked in most circumstances. But, alas, we can’t change that. We can, however, answer the question appropriately.

Here’s your gut reaction to the “When are you having a baby?” question:
“None of your business.”

Here’s a better response:
“We take the decision of having a baby very seriously. Although we’re not quite ready yet, we’ll definitely let you know if and when we do make that decision.”

In this response you:
a. let them know that it’s a big decision - one that you’re making
b. let them know it’s not really a decision that they have any say in by stating “we’re not quite ready yet”
c. let them know they shouldn’t ask you about this again; hence, the “we’ll let you know” phrase

This kind of response could work for a number unwanted questions. You basically just have to politely let them know you’re aware of the situation and they’re on a need-to-know basis (at this point they simply don’t need to know your plans!).

How do you answer this question? What other questions do you get asked that make you uncomfortable?

photo credit: scottywitap | Think!