It’s estimated that it takes people all of three seconds to make assumptions about you.

We use a person’s facial expression, clothing, grooming, hairstyle – pretty much anything we can physically see – to make snap judgments on everything from age to socio-economic status (whether we like or not!).

So, when we’re in a business situation, such as a client meeting or an interview, it’s important that we make a strong first impression. One way we can control this first impression is through a positive introduction.

The key to a Rockstar introduction is confidence. Smile, speak clearly, and show interest. And, if you have to, discretely wipe your clammy hands on your pants before shaking!

13 Tips to Introduce Yourself Properly

1.  Stand up straight.
If you’re sitting, stand up to shake hands. Don’t hunch or lean over.

2.  Extend your right hand.
Keep a distance of roughly an arm’s length when extending your hand to other person. Stepping in too close could make her uncomfortable.

3.  Grip the other person’s hand firmly and gently shake.
You always hear about the importance of firm handshakes, so it’s shocking to get the dead fish. But, it happens quite often. Grip the other person’s hand firmly, but don’t squeeze. Practice with your own hands or with a friend to get a feel for your strength.

4.  Use your first and last names.
Instead of saying, “Hi, I’m Jane.” Say, “Hi, I’m Jane Smith.”This is a common young professional mistake. You should always use your first and last name in an introduction.

5.  If they’ve already said their name, repeat it.
“Peter, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Jane Smith.”

6.  If you introduce yourself first and then he introduces himself, repeat his name and say something nice.
“Peter, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

7.  If you meet a lot of people or are a public figure, you may want to avoid saying, “It’s nice to meet you.”
Instead say, “It’s good to see you.” That way, if you’ve already met them and don’t remember, you won’t offend them. And, there’s no harm in saying “It’s good to see you.” It sounds just as pleasant and inviting.

8.  Consider including your business.
Depending on where you’re at and your purpose, you may need to include the name of your organization in your introduction. For example, if you’re at a conference introducing yourself with your company makes sense.  “Peter, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Jane Smith from ABC Company.”

9.  Consider including your title.
Including your title is a matter of personal preference, but is a good idea in many situations, especially as you climb the ranks. “Peter, it’s so good to see you. I’m Jane Smith, the CEO at ABC Company.”

10.  Consider including your relationship.
“Peter, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Jane Smith. I’ll be your account executive on this project.” Or, “Peter, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Jane Smith from ABC. I believe we have a mutual acquaintance. Do you know Jim Baker from there?” This is an excellent way to start a conversation.

11.  Look at them.
When you’re introducing yourself, look at the person in the eye. This conveys confidence and sincerity.

12.  Listen to them.
Actually listen to the other person’s introduction. Pay attention to their name (repeating it helps you remember it later), their company, and anything else they have to say. Listening will help you make conversation.

13.  Smile.
A genuine smile will warm the other person up to you. And, smiling is contagious so there’s a good chance you’ll be awarded with one in return.

Got something to add? Every time you comment on a Girl Meets Business post during The YP Rockstar series in January, you will be entered to win a one-year membership to the WE 4 LIFE coaching program (a $588 value!) provided by Jenny Ferry of Crest of Your Life. Share your thoughts and be a Comment Rockstar!

]]> http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introduce-yourself/feed http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/how-to-rock-your-resume http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/how-to-rock-your-resume#comments Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:27:11 +0000 Angela http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/?p=98

Whether you’re looking for a job or not, you should keep your résumé up to date.

As a Rockstar, you may be needing it more than you think (board appointments, awards, etc.). You can find the basics to writing a great résumé in the links below, but first let’s explore ways to rock it:

Load it with accomplishments

Employers are looking to hire Rockstars (and if they aren’t, you probably don’t want to work there). Your résumé should reflect your accomplishments, not your duties. This means you should include concrete, factual outcomes.

Numbers

Include numbers whenever possible. Numbers help illustrate accomplishments.

Examples:

• Increased productivity by 10%
• Presented more than 80 sales pitches
• Landed sales goal 95% of the time

Action words

Use strong action words (verbs) to describe how you accomplished something. Some verbs are stronger than others. Pick the ones that easily and succinctly explain the outcome, such as increased, developed, and created. Get more ideas in 52 Action Words for Your Resume (pdf).

Design a personal logo

A well done personal logo can help you stand out from the crowd and give insight into who you are. While you certainly don’t want to overload your résumé with design, a graphical element, such a personal logo, can be unobtrusive enough to not distract from your amazing accomplishments, but special enough to help your résumé stand out. Allie Osmar at Creative Career gives a great example of her personal logo and links to logo-creating ideas and guides.

Warning: Don’t do this with a crappy logo. It will have the opposite effect. Get an objective opinion on your logo, or hire a professional to design it if you don’t have the skills.

Create an online portfolio

If your résumé doesn’t get immediately discarded for something, such as a mistake, there’s a good chance you’ll be Googled before they call you for an interview. Why not be ready to showcase your work? Put a link to your online portfolio (which can feature your new personal logo!) in the header of your résumé.

Smashing Magazine has a wonderful guide called Creating A Successful Online Portfolio that showcases examples of both good and not-so-good portfolios.

Résumé advice from Girl Meets Business

The Power of an A-List

Check Your Resume with these 10 Questions

First Comes the Resume, Then Comes the Interview

Résumé advice from other Blogs

10 Tips to Get Your Resume Read from Brand-Yourself

Five Things You Should Never Put on Your Resume from Lindsay Olson

Getting a Job: The Resume from Young and Frugal

36 Beautiful Resumes that Work from Job Mob

Other Résumé Resources

The Resume Girl

CareerBuilder Advice and Resources

→ Challenge: Give a shot at creating a personal logo. We’d love to see your work in the comments!

Got something to add? Every time you comment on a Girl Meets Business post during The YP Rockstar series in January, you will be entered to win a one-year membership to the WE 4 LIFE coaching program (a $588 value!) provided by Jenny Ferry of Crest of Your Life. Share your thoughts and be a Comment Rockstar!

Before you can deliver the perfect speech, you must write it.

Now, before we go any further, let me share with you my philosophy on speech writing: Good speeches must be written first in order to be delivered well. Some may argue with this, thinking that you don’t actually have to write out the whole speech. And, I concede that there are a few natural speakers who can skip this step. However, the vast majority of us must write it out first. Here’s how:

With thousands of types of speeches under millions of different circumstances possible, it’s hard to have a one-size-fits-all approach to writing a speech. After all, a eulogy is going to be quite different from a conference presentation. That said, the basics are the pretty much the same; it’s up to you to make them fit into the type of speech you’re creating.

Preparation

Before you put pen to paper, you must consider your audience:

Who are they?
Get a general feel for who’s going to be there. Are they experts in their fields or a group of 8^th graders?

How old are they?
Different generations have different appeals. If you’re speaking to primarily Baby Boomers, you’ll want a different tone than if you were speaking to a group of Gen Xers. 

What’s their educational level? 
If you’re speaking to freshman in high school your approach is going to be a little different than if you were speaking to college professors.

Why are they attending your speech?
There’s a big difference between audience hanging on your every word and a group of people who are forced to listen to you. If you’re dealing with the latter, you may need to prepare yourself mentally and practice extra hard.

How many people will be in attendance?
The size of the audience can really change the way you approach your speech. For a group of 25, you may want to consider more audience involvement as opposed to what you might prepare for a group of 200.

Understanding your audience will help you determine:

• Tone
• Length
• Word choice
• Amount of research
• Type of support

Once you understand your audience, you need to get to the heart of what you want you to say. You should figure this out before you start writing the actual words of your speech. Answer these questions:

What is the purpose of my speech?

How can I convey my message?

What kind of research do I need to do?

What are a few things my audience may be interested in learning about?

How much personal information should I include?

The Opening

Your audience will decide within the first five to ten seconds whether or not their going to listen to you, making the opening of your speech critical.

Some common ways to open a speech:

Ask a rhetorical question.
“What’s the most important part of your life?”

Involve your audience.
“Raise your hand if you have ever smoked a cigarette?”

Give a statistic.
“Every second a new blog is born.”

Declare a bold statement.
“I used to have an eating disorder.”

Tell a short story.
“In 1956 a boy was born into what he calls “a fractured family.” He lived a confused childhood, in and out of step-families, never quite understanding what family was all about. Today, he has his family of his own, and has managed to find out the meaning of marriage. You may know his name. But, it’s not important. What is important is…”

Tell a joke.
(I’m so bad at joke telling, I can’t even come up with one! Feel free to leave one in the comments.)

The examples above are all about getting the audience’s attention. Some people don’t feel comfortable with these kinds of openings. Maybe they feel fake or cheesy. Pick one that feels natural to you. For me, telling a joke would (obviously) make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I feel most comfortable stating a fact or declaring a bold statement. You don’t want your opening to seem forced; your audience will notice.

After you have their attention, you can go into introducing yourself, if you need to. In many cases, you’ve already been introduced so repeating information your audience has already heard may not be necessary.

The next part of the opening is to briefly explain what you hope they’ll get out of the speech, especially if you’re doing an informative type of speech. You may say something like, “Today, I hope you will walk away with three things…” or “My goal here today is not to convince you that my path is the right path, but to help you find your own path, the one that is right for you.”

Here’s an example of a complete opening:
“Every second a new blog is born. My blog, Girl Meets business, was born on November 10, 2007. And while we don’t usually use a word like “born” to describe an event such as blogging, I find it to be truly fitting. I have watched my blog grow and develop into what it is today. And, in many ways, I feel like my blog is my baby.

Today, I’m going explain to you what blogging is all about. We’ll talk about everything from what blogs are to how they can help you with your own business…”

The Support

The next section is the heart of your speech. While the opening captures the audience’s attention, the support provides your audience with the knowledge you hope to convey. You’ll want to organize your speech so it flows naturally.

For many speeches, the following format will work quite well:

Point #1: “While blogs can be personal, they are not usually personal diaries.”
Explanation (provide supporting facts, stories, etc.)
Transition #1: “That leads me to my second point…“ 

Point #2: “Blogs are business tools”
Explanation (provide supporting facts, stories, etc.)
Transition #2: “With that said, you may be wondering how blogs can help your particular business.”

Point #3: “Your blog can help enhance your brand.”
Explanation (provide supporting facts, stories, etc.)

Another best practice for speech writing is to recap your points. You might say something like, “I can feel the room buzzing with ideas for incorporating blogs into your businesses. You now know: Blogs aren’t just for tweens who want to rant about school, they’re actually business tools that can help you build a better, stronger brand.”

The Closing

A really bad way to close a speech is to say something like, “Well, that’s about it.” It certainly happens, though! Closing the speech can be the hardest part. How do you wrap up everything and signal that it’s over? One of my favorite ways is to “complete the circle.”

Completing the circle means going back to your opening. Here some closing examples using the opening examples listed above:

Opening: “What’s the most important part of your life?”
Closing: “Now that you’ve learned how to work out a complete work/life balance, let me ask you again: What’s the most important part of your life?”

Opening: “Raise your hand if you’ve ever smoked cigarette?”
Closing: “As you know, we haven’t spent the last twenty minutes talking about smoking, so you may be wondering why I asked about cigarettes in the beginning? Well, when it comes to persuasive advertising, what is a better example than cigarettes?”

Opening: “Every second a new blog is born.”
Closing: “Every second a new blog is born. Will the next one be yours?

Opening: “I used to have an eating disorder.”
Closing: “At the beginning of this presentation, I said that I used to have an eating disorder. The key words in that sentence are ‘used to.’ Thank you.”

Opening: In 1956 a boy was born into what he calls “a fractured family.” He lived a confused childhood, in and out of step-families, never quite understanding what family was all about. Today, he has his family of his own, and has managed to find out the meaning of marriage. You may know his name.
Closing: There is hope for your children to have a sense of family in the midst of turmoil and divorce. Remember that young man I spoke about earlier? Well, it’s Tom Hanks.

Other closing tips:

• Avoid ending with, “In conclusion…”
• Avoid signaling that you’re going to end (e.g. recapping), but then continuing with the speech for several more minutes.
• It’s always okay to end with the two little words: thank you.

More speech-writing tips

Keep these points in mind:

• Write out every word as you would like to say it. You can always change it up later.
• Write as you would speak. After all, you will eventually have to speak it!
• If you’re using PowerPoint or other visual aids, write out when you would like to the reference the slides and what part of the slide you would like to point out.

Writing a speech is one thing, but delivering it is quite another! Stay tuned for the next two posts:

• The keys to delivering a flawless speech
• How to deal with an indifferent audience and other problems
• And, don’t forget to check out the first in this series: How to bomb a speech

That was the name of my first speech. I was in 4^th grade, and I practiced that speech a million times before presenting the day of the competition. I can still remember certain lines from that speech: “The word floated by like tiny cloud in the sky. It was dark and covered with prickly hairs.”

Before we gave our speeches, each of us in the competition had to write our names on the board. I was so nervous that I misspelled my last name! I managed to laugh, correct it, and give the speech I had practiced so many times.

When it came time to give out the awards, I was in the back of the room with the other kids representing my school. They called the white and red ribbon award winners, then the blue ribbon awards winners. Everyone else from my school had their name called. I suddenly had this horrible feeling that I wasn’t going to get any ribbon – even though everyone at least got a white ribbon (hey, I am a member of the trophy generation). I looked around at the smiling faces of my teammates, and I thought, “Oh no! I totally bombed!”

But, alas, my name was called – I had gotten the gold ribbon! The best!

And, so began a career of speech meets. I didn’t always get golds. I sometimes landed a blue or even a red.I had a knack for giving speeches.

Since the 4^th grade, I have give hundreds of speeches to literally thousands of people. In college, I was once again chosen to compete in speech competitions. The largest crowd I ever spoke to was a couple thousand at my university’s senior awards banquet. I have presented at conferences, companies, ceremonies, and competitions.

Some of the speeches were great. Some of them totally bombed.

Five reasons why some of my speeches have bombed:

1. I tried to be cool. Some people seem to have the ability to get up in front of audience and speak quite well with little to no preparation. I am not one of these people. I have learned over the years to give a fairly decent impromptu speech, but it certainly isn’t my strong suit. For a while, I thought this meant I wasn’t good at giving speeches. I know now that it takes time and practice. I would argue that everyone would be benefit from preparation.
2. I let myself get too worked up. I arrived at one of my speech competitions all ready to deliver a persuasive speech. I had charts and graphs and all kinds of support. As we were called up one by one, I quickly realized that the category was not persuasive. It was inspirational. I freaked out. I wanted to leave. And, when my name was called, I could hardly get the words out. I was so concerned about looking like a fool, that I managed to really make a fool out of myself.
3. I couldn’t stand still. Like many people, I can get awkward on stage. The more uncomfortable I feel, the more I sway and pace. If one is available, I always opt for a podium. Podiums are kind of like speech crutches. When there’s nothing between me and the audience, it takes quite a bit of concentration to look comfortable. It’s okay to move; just move naturally.
4. I didn’t practice enough. This goes back to my first point, but it’s a little different. Giving a good speech takes practice in not only what to say, but also how it is said. Practicing helps with timing, inflection, and tone. Not practicing is giving yourself an excuse to bomb.
5. I didn’t give it my all. You know the “prickly hairs” line in Albert’s Bad Word? Well, when I said “prickly,” I scrunched my face and pronounced the word so it actually sounded prickly. That was 4^th grade. Now, it can be a little harder to put myself out there like that. Just like anything else, when you half-ass something, you get a half-ass results.

But, it’s not all about bombing. Over the next two weeks, I will cover:

• The anatomy of the perfect speech
• The keys to delivering a flawless speech
• How to deal with an indifferent audience and other problems

Don’t miss any of the great upcoming tips! Subscribe for free.

They had been trying so hard to add clauses and commas and big words that they could barely spit out a real sentence. Fragments, comma splices, and misplaced clauses were out of control.

So, we broke it down to the basics. We analyzed every word they wrote. And, even though some of them were frustrated by the process (especially at first), they all – every single one of them – could write decent sentences by the end of the semester.

Here’s the six-step process I used with them that will surely work for you:

1. Look at every single word you write.
2. Ask yourself, “Does this word help get my point across?”
3. Take out useless words.
4. Read it all together.
5. Ask yourself, “So what?” at the end of each sentence.
6. Repeat as necessary.

Useless words

Some words and phrases are extremely prevalent in roundabout writing. There’s nothing inherently wrong with these words and phrases; they simply don’t make for great writing.

Very
Does the word “very” add anything to your sentence? In most cases, probably not. What’s the difference between being “very sad” and “sad”? Not a lot.

It would be better to describe just how sad you are by saying, “I’m so sad that I can’t get out of bed.” That says a lot more than, “I’m very sad.”

There are
These two little words were so prevalent in my students’ writing that toward the end of the semester I promised to fail anyone who used them. About 80% of them would start off a paper like this:

 “There are many reasons why I love baseball.”

The good news here is this is a complete sentence. The bad news is this sentence doesn’t really say anything. How about: “Baseball truly deserves to be called America’s favorite pastime.” Or, “From the first time I picked up a bat, I knew baseball would be my life.”

That
Although an essential word, “that” can really get in the way. Take my paragraph above. I could have written:

“The good news here is that this is a complete sentence.”

Instead, I wrote, “The good news here is this is a complete sentence.”

Seems small, right? Well, do it over and over and you’ve got a mess.

Whenever you see the word “that” in a sentence, read it again without it and see if it still makes sense. If it does, take it out.

Needless to say
I had a college professor say to me, “If it’s needless to say, then why did you say it?” Good point, huh? I still let “needless to say” sneak in sometimes simply because it feels right. If you like, go for it. But, in general, stick with Dr. C and delete it.

Utilize
Dr. C taught me this one, too. Utilize doesn’t mean anything. Use “use” instead.

Something like/Due to the fact that/For the reason that
These phrases, and others like them, are just clutter. They add no value to your writing. Get rid of them whenever possible.

Basically
“Basically, this project isn’t going to work.” You don’t need the basically. Just say, “This project isn’t going to work.”

This list could go on and on, but you get the idea. Once you start looking at every word critically, other needless words and phrases will just start jumping out at you.

So What?

When I first introduced this phrase to my students, they were a little taken aback. What is she trying to say? Why is she suddenly being so rude?

I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was trying to get them to think about their writing. Beyond words, you have sentences. Sometimes you need a sentence. Sometimes you don’t. After every sentence, my students asked themselves, “So what?” If they couldn’t answer the question, they either deleted it, combined it with another sentence, or reworked it so it had a substance.

Simply put, if it doesn’t add value, take it out.

Somewhere along the line our writing has become convoluted in an attempt to sound smart, to impress our teachers or bosses, or simply because we taught too much useless crap. Good writing isn’t necessarily a pristine use of commas or knowing when to use a dash versus a hyphen. Good writing is simple and concise. This doesn’t mean  stupid or dumbed down. It means thoughtful and clear.

If it’s too complicated you won’t get your point across and you’ll leave your reader with the question: So what?

A couple days later you overhear a coworker saying, “Caitlin gave me some great tips on how to use the new phone system.” He then goes on to explain everything you, not Caitlin, had recently told him. You’re not upset, just a little dumbfounded as to why he thought Caitlin had explained it when it was clearly you.

What gives? Why are you apparently so forgettable?

Well, first of all, you’re probably not that forgettable. It’s just that people, in general, are pretty self-centered and aren’t necessarily paying that close of attention. In fact, the book Nudge claims that the chances of anyone noticing a stain on your shirt are slim to none. (Although that hilarious Tide commercial begs to differ.)

Basically, in a lot of cases, they don’t mean to ignore or forget you; it’s just their nature.

But, there are some things you can do to ensure that people do remember it was your idea:

Consider timing.
In the first example, it’s possible that the timing was all wrong. Some people need more time to digest information and your quick-thinking idea is just too much for them to absorb so soon. Wait until it makes sense in the conversation to bring up your thoughts, and don’t be afraid to say something like, “I still think that (insert idea) is the right decision here” when the conversation gets off track.

Speak effectively.
As we’ve already established, some folks have a harder time absorbing and considering material before they can completely process. As you explain your suggest, be clear about why you’re proposing it. For example, start by saying, “Going off of what Jim just said about the decline among the 40 and above population, why don’t we (insert brilliant idea).” By bridging the conversation, you’ve not only acknowledged that someone else contributed to your idea (a fact they will most likely remember), but you’ve also helped give the other people in the room a chance to digest the previous information and understand why your idea might actually be a good one.

Coin a phrase.
It sounds silly, but it seems to work. I have done this on accident a couple times, and let me tell you, people do not forget a new phrase word or its origin. It seems a little contrived, and admittedly, I’ve never tried in on purpose, but it certainly gets people’s attention. Don’t be afraid to invent something, like a phrase, that will help others remember your idea.

Wear something to stand out.
Again, perhaps a little contrived, but some people simply blend in and clothes can really help or hurt in this matter. If you’re wearing a gorgeous red necklace, your coworkers may have a better chance remembering it was you who spoke as opposed to the other people in the room wearing their plain gold chains.

Remind people.
Before giving anyone else a chance to steal your idea, remind everyone of it. “Like I was saying earlier, the problem seems to be x, and I’m proposing y as the perfect solution.” Another way is to send out an email to a few strategic people after the meeting, and say, “As I mentioned in the meeting, (insert idea) could be extremely helpful in this situation. I am currently doing some research on the subject and would love to lead this effort.”

Get respect.
This one takes some time. If you make a suggestion and then someone three levels above you makes the same suggestion, who do you think is going to get the credit? If you have the respect of your audience, no matter what level you’re on, the chances of them acknowledging your ideas are much greater.

Even if you follow the above advice, sometimes you just can’t seem to get anyone to acknowledge you. The question often posed is: Should I have mentioned in the meeting that I was the one who had the original idea? Should I correct the coworker who mistakenly quoted someone else when it was really me who was helpful?

Well, that can tricky.

First, check your ego. Is this just an ego thing? Is it really necessary to approach your coworker and let them know that it wasn’t Caitlin who helped with the phone system; it was you? Probably not. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and let someone else take the credit.

Other times, though, you should tactfully stand up for yourself:

Your future is at stake.
If your suggestion is potentially career-changing, it’s worth it to mention it. In some situations, it may be appropriate to talk to the person who took credit for your idea (seemingly not on purpose). “Hey, Bob, that was a great meeting. I think the (insert idea), is a great solution. I was trying to get to that earlier in the meeting, and I would be happy to sit down with you discuss this in detail before you present it to Kate.”

Other times, you may need to talk your boss. Be careful with this. You don’t want to seem like kindergartener: “But that was my idea first! I said it first! Why does Sue always get the credit?”

Someone is repeatedly not giving you credit.
This is an interesting situation because it makes it a little innocent. If someone is constantly giving credit to others for your ideas, suggests, and advice, you may need to talk it over with them.

Don’t be defensive. Say something like, “Hey, Kyle, I heard you mention that Christy is going to be heading up that big marketing project. I just wanted to let you know that I’m actually doing it. No worries; just wanted to be clear.”

Of course, if they’re purposely being a jerk, you’ve got bigger problems on your hands and need to get to the bottom of that first.

How to you remain unforgettable?

“You should work on your professionalism.”

“Nobody understands your presentation.”

As much as you might want to improve, you probably won’t gain anything from criticisms like those above. But, all too often that’s exactly how criticisms are presented – vague and utterly unhelpful.

If presented with criticisms or suggestions like these, it’s best to ask questions:

• What specifically would you change?
• What specifically don’t you like it about it?
• Why do you think that is?
• How would you do it differently?
• What exactly would you like instead?

Once you start asking questions, you may find that the person providing you with the criticism really doesn’t have a point. If they can give you specifics, their suggestion probably isn’t worth taking.

Knowing the kinds of criticisms we like to receive (if you can even like receiving criticism), will help you dish it out. But, first let’s explore a few reasons why you might want to give suggestions or provide criticisms:

1.    It helps others (or the company). This should be your primary reason for providing criticism. This is why we find it valuable, and it’s why others will, too.

2.    It makes you more valuable. Once you start making good suggestions, you start becoming more valuable to your company. Your criticism of a process could be the catalyst to changing a system and increasing ROI – every employer’s dream!

3.    It puts you in a position of authority. Providing effective criticism can catapult you into a position of authority. You’ll be seen as someone who knows what they’re talking about.

So, how do you provide effective criticism? Follow these tips:

Have something to say.
If you don’t have a point, don’t say it. You aren’t helping anyone by simply complaining or by being overly critical. Be thoughtful and consider the importance of your suggestion. Ask yourself:

• Once I provide the criticism, will the person (or company) be able to take what I’ve said and make a positive change?
• Am I doing more than complaining?
• Do I have a concrete suggestion?
• If I don’t have all the answers, can my criticism still be a catalyst to change?

Be specific.
Saying something like, “I didn’t like your report” is not helpful at all. What is that you don’t like? What would make it better? Heck, what report are even referring to?

Tell the person exactly what it is that’s wrong: “You don’t have the proper heading on the TPS report. Here’s a copy of what it should look like.”

Instead of: “You should work on your professionalism.”
Try: “Next time we meet with a client you should wear a suit and please no more flip flops at these meetings.”

The criticism “Nobody understands your presentation” is very problematic because it provides absolutely no specifics. Is it your volume? Is it your vocabulary? Is it your slides? Is it your content? What exactly does nobody understand??

See how much more effective this is: “During your presentation, you lose the audience when you start talking about social media. Try providing a better definition as this audience isn’t familiar with the topic.”

When providing suggestions or criticisms, the more specific you are, the more helpful you will be.

Be timely.
As hard as it can be to accept criticism, it can also be a challenge to muster the courage to provide criticism, and this can cause some people to procrastinate in giving it. Procrastination does not help. Your criticism will be most effective if you provide it in a timely manner.

Don’t make a compliment sandwich.
Because dishing out criticism isn’t natural for a lot of people they try to sugarcoat it with some compliments.

“That was your best presentation yet! But, you really should watch your volume. Sometimes you hold the microphone too close to your mouth. Seriously, though, it really was great.”

Wait. So, my best presentation is the one where I hold the microphone too close to my mouth? If you couldn’t understand what I said at times, how was it great?

See how putting your criticism between compliments can both cheapen the compliments as well as the criticism? It’s a confusing (yet very popular) way to provide criticism. Instead, simply say what you what you want to say.

“Kelly, I wanted to give you some quick feedback on your presentation this morning. When you get really excited, you tend to hold the microphone so close to your mouth, it can be difficult to understand what you’re saying. If you watch that, your presentation will be close to perfect!”

It’s true that there is a compliment in there, but you’ll notice that: (1) the criticism isn’t buried between two compliments and (2) the compliment is nice, but encourages the acceptance of the criticism.

Take yourself out of it.
Avoid starting your criticism with “I.” It’s not about you, so don’t make it so.

“I don’t like the new design.”
So what? Just because you don’t like it doesn’t really matter. Try: “The new design doesn’t feature the soft drink prominently enough.”

“I think you should rewrite the final paragraph.”
Why is that? And, again, do we really care what you think? Try: “The final paragraph should tie the whole letter together.”

“I don’t care for the way you handled that situation.”
Is this about you or them? Try: “You didn’t handle that situation appropriately. When Sally yelled at you, you should have refrained from smacking her.” (Well, you get the idea.)

When done correctly anyone – yes, even the lowest person on the totem pole – can provide effective, constructive criticism.

Please feel free to share your own constructive criticism in the comments section.

The way you communicate says a lot about you. Every word you choose sends your audience, whether it’s your best friend or your boss, a message about who you are and where you want to be.

I’m not talking about using big, fancy words or some kind of industry jargon. That kind of language doesn’t impress anybody (except maybe the extremely naïve). I’m talking about everyday words we use that could potentially holding us back from being seen as true professionals.

What are your words saying about you?

Let’s start off with an example. Based solely on word choice, which of the following people sounds more professional?

Amy: “I can’t even believe we have to do this sucky project. I guess I’ll do it because it could lead to better stuff, but, seriously, it’s really dumb that we’re the ones that have to do it.”

Kim: “It’s unfortunate that we were assigned this low-level project. I don’t completely understand why we were chosen, but it could definitely lead to better projects.”

Kim’s words were stronger and her message clearer, even though they essentially said the same thing.

Where Amy said “I can’t even believe,” Kim said “It’s unfortunate that.”

Where Amy said “sucky,” Kim said “low-level.”

Where Amy said “stuff,” Kim said “projects.”

Where Amy said “it’s really dumb,” Kim said “I don’t completely understand.”

You get the point. Kim clearly sounds more professional. (Be honest, how many times have you sounded more like Amy?)

Maybe you’re thinking that you don’t want to sound like Kim. Kim sounds like a complete dork. Ok. Let’s replace just a few of Amy’s words with Kim’s:

“I can’t even believe we were assigned to this low-level project. I’ll do it because it could lead to better projects. It’s really unfortunate that we’re that ones that have to do it, though.”

Although still clearly not stellar language, this version of Amy’s complaint is definitely more professional.

Identifying your problem words

Pay close attention to your word choice. How do you sound? Young? Indecisive? Pompous? You may have no idea what your words are saying about you.

My problem words:

Cool: “That’s really cool.”

You guys: “You guys will love this new design”

Like: I plan to get this done by, like, 3 p.m.”

Other young words:

Sucks: “This project sucks.”

Awesome: “This project is awesome.”

Totally: “This project is totally awesome.”

Really: “This project really sucks.”

But, it’s not just sounding young; you could be sounding:

Indecisive: “I think it might be a good idea if we…”

Weak: “You’ll probably think this is stupid, but…”

Unclear: “I was kind of thinking we could…”

Unsure: “Not sure if you’ll agree with this, but…”

Special note to women: Women tend to particularly struggle with phrases like, “I think that.. ” and “Not sure if you’ll like this…” Try replacing these words with more powerful and decisive phrases. (I have to constantly remind myself of this as this kind of word choice seems to be ingrained in many female brains from a young age.)

Instead of: “I think this might be a good direction for the firm.”

Try: “This direction has the all of the benefits and very few drawbacks.”

Instead of: “Not sure if you’ll like this, but here’s my idea.”

Try: “My idea is…”

Ways to figure what your “problem words” are:

1. Ask a trusted co-worker.

I was told about one of my problem words without even asking, and I found it extremely helpful. I ask those who I trust to help point out when I say problem words, so I can work on cutting them out of my vocabulary.

2. Record yourself.

I’ve had the privilege of being video taped while speaking. Although I didn’t use any of my problem words (hurrah!), I did see a pattern of other phrases I used (they weren’t necessarily problems; just something to avoid saying too often).

3. Listen to yourself.

A lot of times we just talk and talk and don’t take the time to listen to what we’re saying. Really focus on the words you use and see if there are any unwanted messages that you send.

Eliminating your problem words

Once you figure out what words are making you sound young, unprofessional, or just plain dumb, you need to figure out how to replace them with words that give off your intended message.

The first step is simply recognizing when you say them. Once you know what to listen for, you’ll hear them fly out of your mouth all of the time.

Then, when you start to know what kind of situations make you say these words, you can anticipate it and try using your replacement words.

Take one of my problem words: You guys.

If I’m consulting at a company, saying “You guys could greatly benefit from our product” just doesn’t have the desired effect.

So, I’ve come up with some replacement words: you, your company, your firm, and your team. Doesn’t “Your company could greatly benefit from our product” sound much better than “You guys”?

It takes a lot of effort to turn words that are hurting your image into words that help your image.

Of course, you don’t also need to recognize when you should eliminate a word and when it could be fine to say. For instance, if I’m talking to a coaching a bunch of fifth graders at volleyball, saying “All right, you guys, line up!” is perfectly acceptable.

Final Thoughts

You’ve heard the phrase, “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.”  Like word choice, your tone can have huge impact on message. Sarcastic and aggressive tones are particularly detrimental in the workplace. Keep your tone professional and clear. You don’t have to be Ms. Perky or Mr. Gowiththeflow, but you should show your respect for others through your tone.

Can you get ahead even with poor word choice? Sure, you can. There’s no doubt about it. However, sounding like the professional that you are will make it a little easier in your journey.

1. Did you include your contact information? Address? Email? Phone? Cell?
   Seems like a no-brainer, but it does happen. Even if you have your contact information is on your email or your cover letter, there’s no guarantee this information will make it to the hiring manger. Make sure they can easily find your information on your résumé.

2. Did you use action verbs, such as: taught, conducted, created, developed?
   These words will help illustrate the work that you actually performed.Try: Programmed 14 websites using HTML
   Not: 14 websites with HTML

   Try: Created a comprehensive customer relations plan
   Not: New customer relations plan

3. Are all of these words parallel in tense and context?
   If you’re using past tense, use it throughout. If you’re using present tense, use it throughout. Just don’t switch it up. (The same goes with fonts, bullets, lists, and pretty much everything else in your résumé.)

4. Did you include the results or outcomes of your work?
   Simply doing your job probably won’t impress the hiring manager, but seeing the results of your hard work just might do it.Example: Created a comprehensive customer relations plan, resulting in a 75% improvement in customer satisfaction in the first year of implementation
5. Did you include all dates and locations?
   Dates and locations help the hiring manger get a better understanding of your work history. If you’re worried about gaps in employment, you can explain that in the interview or in the cover letter; just don’t leave the dates out.

6. Did you create a cohesive look?
   Stick with one font (two, if you must). Your résumé should have a clean look. In other words, it should have plenty of white space, appropriate bolding and italicizing, and short bullets of text. If you need inspiration, search your bookcase for books that have an appealing layout to you. Imitate it.

7. Did you make sure there’s no inappropriate or personal information included?
   Unless your positive this information is appropriate for the job you’re applying for, avoid personal information, such as how many kids you have or your dog’s name. Stick to only professional facts.

8. Did you check for mistakes?
   Once you get everything written and looking pretty, you probably don’t want to look at your résumé anymore. But, you must. Check it and check it again for spelling errors, tense errors, layout errors, all errors. Print it out and study it.

9. Did you let someone else check for mistakes?
   You wrote it, which means you’re more likely to read right over your mistakes. Have a friend, spouse, parent, or anyone you trust take a look it at. It can be a little uncomfortable to do this, but an error-free résumé is essential for landing a job.

10. Did you tell the truth?
    Don’t lie on your résumé. Ever.

What are your résumé tips?

Tip #1: Don’t put anything in an email you wouldn’t want everyone in your office to read.

Did you know your employer has the right to review your email? Take a look at your company’s email policy and review the FAQs at privacyrights.org to get a better idea of your particular situation, but in general, your employer owns your email address and everything in it.

This means your emails should be a reflection of complete professionalism. No love notes, no ripping on a co-worker or competitor, and no inappropriate jokes or topics. Here’s the simple rule: If you wouldn’t want everyone in your office, including your boss and your CEO, to read it, don’t put it in an email.

Tip #2: Keep it short.

For every sentence you add, you also add the chance that your reader is going to lose interest and stop reading. Approximately 183 billion emails are sent every day (2 million every hour). Of course, our particular portion is between 25 - 400 emails a day (or more if you’re really popular!), but that’s still a whole lot of reading. Respect your reader by keeping your writing brief and by clearly articulating your message. Learn more about how to do this here and here.

Tip #3: Watch your tone.

It can be extremely challenging to tell tone from an email. You may send a perfectly friendly “yeah, right!” message and the reader may perceive it as a sarcastic, eye-rolling “yeah, right!” message. How do you combat this? Well, for starters, don’t send two-word emails. The previous tip was to keep it short, but there is such as a thing as too short.

Instead of saying, “Yeah, right!” say, “I agree. That’s an excellent idea. When can we get together to discuss?”

Instead of saying, “Whatever.” say, “I trust your decision making skills. Whatever you decide is fine with me. Thanks for asking.”

Instead of saying, “Let’s discuss.” say, “I need more information on this. Can you set up a meeting to provide more details?”

Do you see the difference? The first messages were ambiguous; they could be read in a number of different ways, but the second message was clear, actionable (and still short!).

Avoid sarcasm in emails because it just doesn’t translate well in email. Sarcasm relies heavily on body language and tone of voice, neither of which are present in an email. Keep the tone of your email professional and straight-forward, and save the jokes for in person.

Tip #4: Double check before you hit send.

The worst feeling in the world (ok, maybe not the worst, but it feels pretty bad) is to hit that send button and then realize you made a major mistake, like sending the email to wrong the person, forgetting the attachment, or hit “reply to all” when you meant to just reply. These things happen to the best of us, but with a quick check these common pitfalls can be avoided. Once it’s sent out, it’s almost impossible to get back, which makes it even more important to pay close attention before you click send.

Give your email a quick check:

a. Is this going to the right person or people?

b. Did I attach the appropriate documents?

c. Is the purpose of the email clear and appropriate?

d. Did I provide enough details to make sense, but keep it short and sweet?

e. Is my tone professional or could it be easily misconstrued?

Keep these four simple tips in mind the next time you’re sending your an email and you should avoid any major email catastrophes.