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	<title>Girl Meets Business &#187; Personal Development</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/category/personal/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com</link>
	<description>No-nonsense career advice and discussion</description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:58:44 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Get stuck in the elevator</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/elevator</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/elevator#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:58:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rockstar]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[values]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/?p=398</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
There&#8217;s a scene in You&#8217;ve Got Mail when Tom Hanks&#8217; character Joe, his girfriend, the elevator operator, and one of their snobby-looking neighbors with a little dog get stuck in an elevator.
After waiting for help for hours, the woman with the dog finally says, &#8220;If we ever get out of here, I&#8217;ll start speaking to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><a rel="attachment wp-att-200" href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/how-to-be-a-yp-rockstar/micpost" target="_blank"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-200" title="micpost" src="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/micpost.jpg" alt="micpost" width="134" height="133" /></a></h3>
<p><strong>There&#8217;s a scene in <em>You&#8217;ve Got Mail</em> when Tom Hanks&#8217; character Joe, his girfriend, the elevator operator, and one of their snobby-looking neighbors with a little dog get stuck in an elevator</strong>.</p>
<p>After waiting for help for hours, the woman with the dog finally says, &#8220;If we ever get out of here, I&#8217;ll start speaking to my mother again.&#8221;</p>
<p>The elevator operator chimes in and says he&#8217;ll marry his girlfriend. <strong>&#8220;I don&#8217;t know what&#8217;s been stopping me,&#8221;</strong> he says.</p>
<p>Joe&#8217;s awful girlfriend then adds, &#8220;If I ever get out of here, I&#8217;m getting my eyes lasered.&#8221;</p>
<p><em>He then knows he doesn&#8217;t love her.</em></p>
<p><strong>What is it about these intense situations— elevator stalls, airplane dips, etc. —that causes us to think about what&#8217;s important to us?</strong> Why is it that we have to get stuck in an elevator in order to clearly see what&#8217;s important to us? Whether it&#8217;s reconnecting with something (or someone) we&#8217;ve lost or taking that next scary step to our better future?</p>
<p>In the first post of <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/the-yp-rockstar-series" target="_blank">The YP Rockstar series</a>, I suggested that Rockstars need to &#8220;get uncomfortable.&#8221; I can tell you from experience that&#8217;s hard pill to swallow all at once. So, take the first step: <em>Get stuck in the elevator</em>.</p>
<p><strong>What&#8217;s important to you?</strong></p>
<h4><a rel="attachment wp-att-115" href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/how-to-be-a-yp-rockstar/commentrockstar"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-115" title="commentrockstar" src="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/commentrockstar.jpg" alt="commentrockstar" width="317" height="110" /></a></h4>
<p><strong>Got something to add? </strong>Every time you comment on a Girl Meets Business post during <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/2009-be-a-yp-rockstar" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: #000080;">The YP Rockstar series</span></strong></a> in January, you will be entered to win a one-year membership to the <a href="http://crestofyourlife.com/coaching.html"><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>WE 4 LIFE coaching program</strong></span></a> <strong>(a $588 value!)</strong> provided by Jenny Ferry of <a href="http://crestofyourlife.com/index.html"><span style="color: #000080;"><strong>Crest of Your Life</strong></span></a>. <strong>Share your thoughts and be a Comment Rockstar!</strong></p>
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		<item>
		<title>A Routined Life</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/a-routined-life</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/a-routined-life#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/a-routined-life</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[On Sunday mornings I go to the grocery store.
I bring my reusable bags. I travel to the same store, generally using the same lanes on the highway. If I forget something, it will have to wait until the following Sunday. I only go to the grocery store on Sunday.
That’s my routine. And, it works for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3>On Sunday mornings I go to the grocery store.</h3>
<p>I bring my reusable bags. I travel to the same store, generally using the same lanes on the highway. If I forget something, it will have to wait until the following Sunday. I only go to the grocery store on Sunday.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That’s my routine.<em><strong> And, it works for me.</strong></em></p>
<h4 class="MsoNormal">Routines help me get stuff done. Stuff like:</h4>
<ul>
<li>Cleaning</li>
<li>Doing laundry</li>
<li>Making dinner</li>
<li>Going to Starbucks</li>
<li>Exercising (In full disclosure, I don’t actually exercise. But, if I did, I’m sure I’d set a routine around it.)</li>
<li>Sleeping</li>
<li>Reading RSS feeds</li>
<li>Even blogging</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Some people find my routines maddening (or simply boring). I find them comforting.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>The problem, of course, is that life doesn’t allow routine. After 27 years of planning and creating routines, here are a few tips:</p>
<h4 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Set routines for certain tasks</h4>
<p>Take a look at your life and see if there’s anything that could use a little routine. Routines help me stay on track. While my work life is anything but routine – meetings, events, calls at any time during a 12-hour day – having routine in my personal life ensures that some life’s most mundane tasks (cleaning the bathroom, anyone?) get done. <span> </span></p>
<h4 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Build flexibility into the routines</h4>
<p class="MsoNormal">The routines you set can’t be so rigid that you can only accomplish routined items. Seriously, things come up – life happens – and routines simply can’t always be followed. Routines aren’t an excuse to change plans or avoid life.</p>
<h4 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Inform others of your routines</h4>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let your family and friends (and perhaps co-workers) know about your routines. If you’d like to send a routine to mediate every morning from <st1:time minute="0" hour="8">8</st1:time> to <st1:time minute="15" hour="8">8:15</st1:time>, let your family know you need to be left alone for those 15 minutes. Your family can also benefit from your routines. They will know when to get their clothes in the hamper for cleaning; no exceptions.<span>  </span></p>
<h4 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Make sure your routines help, not hinder</h4>
<p class="MsoNormal">Routines can help with budgeting, planning, keeping on track, and making goals. But, they can sometimes turn in to obsessions or crutches. Not good. Keep an eye on your routines and make sure they still make sense for your life.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>For spirits freer than my own, perhaps routines seem really boring (maybe you stopped reading after the first sentence). I’m not going to lie; it’s not the most exciting part of my life. But, routines help me get through some of life’s most mundane tasks (and some fun ones), so that I can enjoy the rest of it.</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>How do you use routines?</h3>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;</p>
<p>Like this article? <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/girlmeetsbusiness/Zrms" target="_blank">Subscribe for free</a>.</p>
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		<title>Replace these four outdated rules</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/new-rules</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/new-rules#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:14:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fashion]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[grammar]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[resume]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rules]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/new-rules</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Life is full of rules. Some of them we learn as children. Others we glean from experiences – both good and bad. Here are four rules &#8212; in four separate categories &#8211;  it’s time to update:
Fashion
Old rule: Never wear open-toed shoes in the winter.
New rule: When it gets cold outside, don tights with those cute [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal">Life is full of rules. Some of them we learn as children. Others we glean from experiences – both good and bad. Here are four rules &#8212; in four separate categories &#8211;  it’s time to update:</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Fashion</h3>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Old rule:</strong> Never wear open-toed shoes in the winter.<br />
<strong>New rule:</strong> When it gets cold outside, don tights with those cute peep toes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Snow and toes tend to not mix well. And, exposed toes in the winter has long been known as a fashion faux pas (in cold-weather states, at least). But, this rule is on way its way out.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>If you’re in to fashion at all, you know open-toed and peep-toe shoes are extremely popular these days. So, what’s a girl to do? While some <a href="http://forum.purseblog.com/the-wardrobe/are-open-toed-shoes-for-winter-57554.html" target="_blank">people in forums</a> suggest wearing them with sheer hosiery (gasp!), your best bet is to wear them with <a href="http://www.blogher.com/wear-your-peep-toe-shoes-tights-shocking-i-know" target="_blank">tights</a>. Thick tights will keep your little piggies toasty and you <a href="http://www.glamour.com/fashion/2008/10/winter-style-dos-and-donts" target="_blank">wildly fashionable</a>, and you can’t beat that. <span> </span><span>   </span><span> </span></p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Grammar</h3>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Old rule:</strong> Never end a sentence in a preposition.<br />
<strong>New rule:</strong> Go ahead and end your sentences in prepositions, as long as they need them.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This rule is so outdated it wears a Members Only jacket. (Lame, I know. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.) I get the feeling that every 4<sup>th</sup> grade teacher branded this rule on the brains of each of their students so that they would be forever tormented by prepositions. But, alas, those 4<sup>th</sup> grade teachers steered us in the wrong direction on this one. It’s perfectly fine to end a sentence with a preposition.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Some folks certainly are hardcore sticklers in favor of convoluted sentences just to avoid a preposition at the end (the same people, no doubt, haunted by 4<sup>th</sup> grade). But, there’s no need to re-write or scrap a sentence just because of that itty-bitty preposition at the end. According to <a href="http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/ending-prepositions.aspx" target="_blank">Grammar Girl</a>, as long as you need a preposition in the sentence, keep it at the end. Isn’t that something we can all agree on?</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>The Office</h3>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Old rule:</strong> Never talk about religion or politics at work.<br />
<strong>New rule:</strong> Respectfully discuss religion and politics with your mature co-workers.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know the election’s over, but there are still a ton of opportunities for politics and religion to be brought up. After all, most of us spend 40 hours or more a week with our co-workers. These things are bound to come up at some point, and pretending like religion and politics don’t exist inhibits <a href="http://modite.com/blog/2008/10/21/why-gen-y-should-talk-about-politics-at-work/" target="_blank">relationships and understanding</a>.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>The key words in the new rules are:</p>
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><strong>Respectfully</strong>.      This is probably the most important word in the sentence. If you try to      force your beliefs, get defensive, yell, or otherwise act in a      jackass-like manner, you will certainly not be able to have an intelligent      discussion. Be respectful that not everyone’s beliefs are the same as      yours. That’s okay.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><strong>Discuss.</strong>      Discussing implies that two are more people are engaged in a conversation;      as opposed to just one person blabbing away. Make sure to allow others a      chance to disagree with you, present you with points, and make their own      case.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><strong>Mature.</strong>      I mean mature as in the opposite of immature, not as in old. Don’t be      foolish. You know some people won’t be able to handle even a civilized      discussion on a topic they disagree with. It’s best to avoid any      controversial topics with these folks altogether.</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Out of all the new rules in this post, this one is definitely the <a href="http://www.quietthethunder.com/2008/11/with-friends-like-these.html" target="_blank">trickiest</a>. There are many, many people who think that the old rule should stick. Like anything else, you know yourself and your co-workers; do what you’re comfortable with.</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Job Searching</h3>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Old rule:</strong> Keep your résumé to one page.<br />
<strong>New rule: </strong>Make your résumé as long as it needs to be.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You’ve heard this one a lot, right? It’s bunk. Even right out of college, I had two-page <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/resume-questions" target="_blank">résumé</a>. Not because I was so special, but because I happened to accomplish enough things (and hold enough jobs!) to warrant a two-pager.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>So, what’s right for you? Type it all out and format it. Wherever you land is where you should keep it. In other words, it’s a bad idea to beef up what should be a one-page résumé just get it to two pages. It’s equally a bad idea to cut out important information just to get your résumé down to one page. <o:p></o:p>Of course, if the employer has strict requirements, stick with those.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><font color="#000000"><strong>As the cliché goes: Some rules are made to be broken. <em>Others just need to be replaced.</em></strong></font></p>
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		<title>You do care what other people think</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/other-people</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/other-people#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 01:57:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal branding]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/other-people</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever said, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.”?

I know I have, and I also know it’s a lie.

The truth is we do care what other people think about us. Why wouldn’t we? How others view us can make or break us. It’s how we get jobs, score promotions, make friends, and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3 class="MsoNormal">Have you ever said, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.”?<o:p><br />
</o:p></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know I have, and I also know it’s a lie.<o:p><br />
</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The truth is we do care what other people think about us. Why wouldn’t we? How others view us can make or break us. It’s how we get jobs, score promotions, make friends, and create enemies.<o:p><br />
</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What others think of us, like it or not, contributes to our brand, and ultimately, to our success. Think about the brands you interact with on a daily basis – Starbucks, Coke, Dell, Google, <a href="http://twitter.com/angela_gmb" target="_blank">Twitter</a>.<span>  </span>What do these brands mean to you? Where would these brands be if they didn’t care what you thought?<o:p><br />
</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When we say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me,” we really mean “I don’t care what <em>some people</em> think about me.” Or, “I don’t care what people think of me in this <em>particular situation</em>.”<o:p><br />
</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you’re Twitter, you probably don’t care what an 80-year-old woman who does not own a computer or have an email address thinks of you. But, what if Twitter didn’t care what anyone thought? Well, they probably wouldn’t be around very long. Of course, there are always going to be Twitter-haters, and maybe Twitter cares about what these people think and maybe they don’t. (We’ll get to haters in a minute.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>We almost always care about thoughts of the people who have a vested interest in our future. For most of us this will include:</p>
<ul>
<li>Our spouse/partner</li>
<li>Our friends</li>
<li>Our parents/siblings/other family members</li>
<li>Our children</li>
<li>Our boss</li>
<li>Our boss’ boss</li>
<li>Our co-workers (the ones you respect, at least)</li>
<li>Our customers/clients</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>This isn’t to say that these people should approve of our every action. Or, that we should let these groups dictate who we are and what we do. That’s ludicrous. But, we tend to care what these people think about us because we respect them and their opinions of us (or, at the very least, we know they have some level of influence over us).</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>What about the haters?</h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">It seems like there’s always someone who doesn’t like us, our brand, our ideas, our actions, whatever. This is a tough one because so often these haters can be convincing in their disdain for us. (some of us even have haters in the list above.) Here’s a question to ask to decide if you care: Do their values align with ours? If we stand for integrity and they don’t, then we may have a problem with each other. In some cases, we really shouldn’t care what these people think!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>I am currently going through a personal brand audit and a brand audit for my site, Girl Meets Business. I invite you feedback of Girl Meets Business by taking this <a href="http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=vluygFyKiOzEpbrYhGWx5Q_3d_3d" target="_blank">brief survey</a>.</p>
<h3 class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Because I care what you think.</h3>
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		<title>Lesson Learned: It’s ok to be goofy (as long as you&#8217;re being yourself)</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/lesson-learned-it%e2%80%99s-ok-to-be-goofy-as-long-as-youre-being-yourself</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/lesson-learned-it%e2%80%99s-ok-to-be-goofy-as-long-as-youre-being-yourself#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:00:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[personal development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/lesson-learned-it%e2%80%99s-ok-to-be-goofy-as-long-as-youre-being-yourself</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My blogging style has been described as no-nonsense, down to business, and straight forward. This is not much different than how you might describe me if you knew me outside of my blog.
To be honest, I’m ok with this description. For the most part, it’s accurate. I do tend to be serious and pragmatic, ambitious [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal">My blogging style has been described as no-nonsense, down to business, and straight forward. This is not much different than how you might describe me if you knew me outside of my blog.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>To be honest, I’m ok with this description. For the most part, it’s accurate. I do tend to be serious and pragmatic, <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/action-items" target="_blank">ambitious</a> and goal orientated. I have a strong tendency toward <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;source=web&amp;ct=res&amp;cd=1&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gregwiens.com%2Fresults.htm&amp;ei=ly_pSMZem4iFArq-9b0B&amp;usg=AFQjCNFqOrWUi7mXSxbsSaBksTaoTQVwFg&amp;sig2=H12mlbJP_cZxxtRjLHgBHw" target="_blank">“D” – dominance</a> – in my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DISC_assessment" target="_blank">DISC profile</a> (with a lot of “S” – steadiness – as well).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>But, I have another side that a lot of people don’t get to see. It’s my goofy side. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0" target="_blank">Yes, I have one.</a> I have one heck of one in the right situation. (In grade school, this often labeled me as “weird,” which could be, in part, my reluctance to showing it off.) Usually, though, my down-to-business attitude wins out.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Recently, through direct and indirect feedback, I’ve realized that this all-work and no-play attitude can give others the wrong impression – that I don’t like fun. So, I decided to let my guard down, and let a little of that goofiness shine through.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>The silliness I employed wasn’t contrived. It was genuine. It was me, just not the me they were used to. And, I was surprised by a few things:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">1. How surprised others were! Some people couldn’t believe that I could be silly. (Some of the looks I got were priceless.) That made me realize how important itis to show this side.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">2. The reaction was so positive. I made people laugh - there are few things that are better than that! I was able to connect with people on a level I previously wasn&#8217;t able to.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">3. I could be goofy, but still be taken seriously. I found that acting a little silly didn’t mean others suddenly lost all respect for me, or suddenly thought that I was going to slack. If anything I think it helped me gain a different kind of mutual respect.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m alone in &#8220;forgetting&#8221; a certain aspect of my personality. I&#8217;m not saying I was being fake; I wasn&#8217;t. But, I did forget that it&#8217;s ok to have fun, to be silly every once in a while. Maybe for you it&#8217;s not being goofy; it could that you&#8217;re afraid to show your ambitious, serious, empathetic, intellectual, or social side. Whatever, it is, I challenge you to let your guard down and let this other side shine through.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We can&#8217;t be something we&#8217;re not.  What we can do is be true to ourselves, our whole selves.</p>
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		<title>Jealousy, backstabbing, and gossip— Oh my!</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/women-gossip</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/women-gossip#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Sep 2008 01:14:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/women-gossip</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This weekend I overheard the following conversation:
Woman #1: I didn’t like her from the moment I saw her.
Woman #2: I know what you mean. I read an article yesterday and someone from her high school said she was “shallow.”
Guess who they were talking about?
Sarah Palin.
That’s right. That’s how these two women were talking “politics.” Not [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal">This weekend I overheard the following conversation:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><strong>Woman #1:</strong> I didn’t like her from the moment I saw her.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><strong>Woman #2:</strong> I know what you mean. I read an article yesterday and someone from her high school said she was “shallow.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><em>Guess who they were talking about?</em></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Sarah Palin.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>That’s right. That’s how these two women were talking “politics.” Not about pertinent issues, like <st1:country-region><st1:place>Iraq</st1:place></st1:country-region>, the economy, even reproductive rights. No, instead, they were focused on second-hand decades-old gossip and looks.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>This post isn’t about politics. Regardless of your political views, the above conversation is pretty appalling. And, it got me thinking: Why would these women be so quick to jump on irrelevant issues, when there are so many relevant issues that could be discussed?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>That’s when I remembered a book I bought at the YMCA book fair for $1 (I don’t get a lot of deals, so I had to throw that in there) called <em><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=DGj6A7uXHE8C" target="_blank">Tripping the Prom Queen</a></em> by Susan Shapiro Brash.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>I haven’t finished the book yet, but what I have read has been both mind-blowing and gut-wrenching . Mind-blowing in the fact that I can’t even believe some of the things these women say about other women and their experiences (husband stealing? really?). Gut-wrenching because I (unfortunately) can relate to some of these thoughts and experiences.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><strong>Here are just a few of the many, many examples <em>(emphasis mine) </em>of  female rivalry</strong><strong>:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><o:p></o:p>“I’ll go out at night with my friends who have high-powered jobs, and then <em><strong>everyone is envious</strong></em> of the person who makes the most and has the best title.”</li>
<li><o:p></o:p>“My mother taught me to <em><strong>never trust another woman</strong></em>. She was not close with her own sisters and had no women friends.”</li>
<li><o:p></o:p>“When I was in grade school I felt<strong> <em>jealous of my friends</em></strong>, one in particular. She was prettier and she came from a better family.”</li>
<li><o:p></o:p>“I saw that she had some <em><strong>weaknesses</strong></em>, and I played them up at once. I told my boss, who wanted a woman in this job so that it would be politically correct, that she not the right person. I did this <em><strong>even though it wasn’t the truth</strong></em>.”</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>The book’s countless examples of envy, greed, jealousy, backstabbing, and cutthroat behavior make it seem like we women need to live everyday in extreme fear of getting “tripped” by other women.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>While I don’t think this is the case, I do think we need to watch how we react to the success of other women. I do think we should support other women (this doesn’t mean voting for them just because their women). I do think we have an obligation to look beyond high school cattiness and shallow observations  (and possibly our own insecurities) and get to the real issues.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em>As for the women I overheard this weekend: </em>In their defense, I didn&#8217;t stick around the hear the rest of the conversation. Perhaps their conversation was perfectly innocent. I certainly don&#8217;t think they meant any harm or where necessarily &#8220;jealous&#8221; of Gov. Palin. Regardless, this post isn&#8217;t about them and it certainly isn&#8217;t about Sarah Palin. It&#8217;s about the unprecedented power of women and our decision to use that to use that power to tear each other down or bring each other up.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong><a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/gen-y-women-change-starts-with-us" target="_blank">Gen Y women, how will you use that power? </a></strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
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		<title>We don’t want the same things (and that’s ok)</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/assumptions</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/assumptions#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:04:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[assumptions]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[baby]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/assumptions</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I don&#8217;t want what you want.
Assumptions
Why do some people insist on pushing their own life goals or values on others? Why do they make assumptions about you and your life goals based on your gender, education level, race, geographic location, and other demographics? These are questions I&#8217;ve been pondering quite a bit lately.
Here&#8217;s an example: [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" /><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document" /><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10" /><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10" /></p>
<p><em><strong>I don&#8217;t want what you want.</strong></em></p>
<p><strong>Assumptions</strong><br />
Why do some people insist on pushing their own life goals or values on others? Why do they make assumptions about you and your life goals based on your gender, education level, race, geographic location, and other demographics? These are questions I&#8217;ve been pondering quite a bit lately.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s an example: As a married woman in my mid-20s who has been married for three years, I must&#8230; want kids. Right?</p>
<p>Wrong. Well, not yet, anyway.</p>
<p>But that doesn&#8217;t stop people from making the assumption (and telling me all about it).</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the kicker: Even after I tell them I don&#8217;t want kids right now, they continue to push. They think I&#8217;m hiding something. They think I secretly do want kids. They think I&#8217;m lying. After all, what almost-27-year-old married woman doesn&#8217;t want kids?</p>
<p>The &#8220;baby&#8221; thing is just one example (one that&#8217;s often top of mind for me). Other common life goal assumptions:</p>
<p>-         You must want to get married.</p>
<p>-         You must want a good (or better) job.</p>
<p>-         You must want to own a house.</p>
<p>-         You must want to stay at home with your kids.</p>
<p>-         You must want to go be religious.</p>
<p>-         You must want to grow up.</p>
<p><strong>Why won&#8217;t you just be like me?</strong><br />
People force their assumptions on others because they believe that:</p>
<p>(a) they are right</p>
<p>(b) you are just like them</p>
<p>(c) if you&#8217;re not just like then, you should be</p>
<p>(d) there&#8217;s just no other way to be</p>
<p>(e) a combination of the above</p>
<p>(f) all of the above</p>
<p>I certainly don&#8217;t think this is always conscious. Hardly anyone thinks, &#8220;Gosh, the world sure would be better if everyone were just like me and wanted the same things I want.&#8221; (At least I hope not.)</p>
<p>However, I do think we can identify when we make these assumptions and realize that it&#8217;s ok if people want different things. I had to do this when I realized that not every young woman in her 20s wants to eventually be CEO. Just like not every young woman wants to have kids or wants to get married or wants to be an entrepreneur.</p>
<p><strong>Different people, different goals</strong><br />
It seems silly that people assume that everyone wants what they want. Why would they? We&#8217;re different people. With different values. Different experiences. Different goals.</p>
<p>So, why then do people insist on putting you in their category, pushing their goals on you? Why aren&#8217;t you married yet? Why don&#8217;t you have a better job? Why didn&#8217;t you go to law school?</p>
<p>Really, that&#8217;s pretty absurd.</p>
<p><strong>Bottom Line</strong><br />
Not everyone wants to go to college, to be rich, to travel the world, to own a big house, to land a book deal, to start a blog, to play in the major leagues, to be movie star, to have a dog, to go out on Friday night.</p>
<p>And, that&#8217;s ok.</p>
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		<title>It’s tough, but listen to criticism anyway</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/criticism</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/criticism#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2008 00:46:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/criticism</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Hearing criticism, even constructive and polite criticism, can be painful. I mean, really, who wants to hear about the things they do wrong?I&#8217;ve got news for you - You do!The fact is most people, when hearing a criticism about their work or their actions or whatever, will immediately go one of the following routes:

Denial.  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" /><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document" /><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10" /><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10" /></p>
<link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CANGELA%7E1.LAP%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List" /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>     Normal   0                         MicrosoftInternetExplorer4   </xml><![endif]-->Hearing criticism, even constructive and polite criticism, can be painful. I mean, really, who wants to hear about the things they do wrong?I&#8217;ve got news for you - You do!The fact is most people, when hearing a criticism about their work or their actions or whatever, will immediately go one of the following routes:
<ol start="1" type="1">
<li><strong>Denial.</strong>      &#8220;What you mean that report was wordy? It wasn&#8217;t wordy. You&#8217;re wrong. It      was great.&#8221;</li>
<li><strong>Dismissal.</strong>      &#8220;The fact that you just told me my report was wordy isn&#8217;t even worth      considering.&#8221;</li>
<li><strong>Defensiveness. </strong>     &#8220;The reason the report was too wordy was because you didn&#8217;t give me enough      time to edit it. If you&#8217;d given me enough time, I could have pared it      down. My other reports haven&#8217;t been too wordy.&#8221;</li>
<li><strong>Disregard. </strong>     &#8220;Did you say something to me?&#8221;</li>
</ol>
<p>Here&#8217;s the deal: The report <em>was</em> wordy. Your clothes <em>do </em>fit you poorly. You <em>do</em> need to improve your organizational skills. You <em>are</em> too confrontational when you speak to your boss.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s in your best interest to admit it, fix it, and move on.</p>
<p><strong>Admitting It</strong><br />
Admitting that a criticism is correct is the hardest part. How could they possibly say that about me? Don&#8217;t they like me? (The very fact that they&#8217;re providing you with constructive criticism is probably a sign that they like you and want you to do better.)</p>
<p>I have witnessed people flat out deny the things they are being criticized for. It&#8217;s almost laughable the lengths that people will go to to avoid admitting that they actually made an error.</p>
<p>I have no doubt that I, too, have done this. I believe we all have at some point. Some of us are just really adamant about our personal perfection.</p>
<p>All the time, we&#8217;re defending ourselves and our actions. And, why shouldn&#8217;t we? If we don&#8217;t, nobody else will. But, there does come a time when we need to stop and listen to what we&#8217;re being told. It could help us be better.</p>
<p><strong>Fixing It</strong><br />
Change is hard. Maybe you&#8217;re set in your ways, you&#8217;re on autopilot, or you just don&#8217;t want to change. The truth is you&#8217;re not going to change if you don&#8217;t want to. It&#8217;s a commitment you have to make.</p>
<p>Of course, not everything we&#8217;re criticized for can be fixed. That&#8217;s ok. It may not be worth fixing.</p>
<p><strong>Moving On</strong><br />
Moving on is hard for me, and presumably, a lot of people. It can be easy to fall into a trap of obsessing over our shortcomings. Once we admit that the criticism was, indeed, correct, we start thinking: How long has this been going on? Did I look stupid? How can I possibly fix this?</p>
<p>I believe in constant improvement and learning. Accepting criticism is a part of that. So is moving on from that criticism.</p>
<p><strong>Constructive vs. Too Critical  </strong><br />
Of course, some of the criticism we hear simply isn&#8217;t worth listening to. Some people are overly critical to the point of just being mean. Some people certainly don&#8217;t have our best interest at heart. Some people provide criticism to make themselves feel better.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the rule: If the criticism helps you grow and improve, then go ahead and admit it, fix it, and move on. If the criticism is just to impress other people or goes against your values, don&#8217;t bother.</p>
<p><strong>It simply doesn&#8217;t feel good hear criticism. But, sometimes it&#8217;s worth it.  </strong></p>
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		<title>An Introvert&#8217;s Guide to Networking (Part 2)</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-conversation</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-conversation#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 May 2008 00:05:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-conversation</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Introverts aren’t exactly known for small talk.
Deep conversations with one or two close friends, yes. Strategic discussion in small meetings, sure. Small talk, not so much.
In Part One of An Introverts Guide Networking, we discussed how to actually go about circulating the room. In Part Two, we’ll discuss how to hold a conversation with someone [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><strong>Introverts aren’t exactly known for small talk.</strong></h3>
<p>Deep conversations with one or two close friends, yes. Strategic discussion in small meetings, sure. Small talk, not so much.</p>
<p>In <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-networking" target="_blank">Part One of An Introverts Guide Networking</a>, we discussed how to actually go about circulating the room. In Part Two, we’ll discuss how to hold a conversation with someone you meet at an event.</p>
<h3><strong>First, a couple disclaimers:</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li>Yes, this advice can be used by both introverts and extroverts.</li>
<li>Yes, I realize introverts aren’t totally inept at making conversation. This advice is in no way meant to suggest that. It’s only meant to help everyone along with conversation, which doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, introverted and otherwise.</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>The Introduction</strong></h3>
<p>People will make their first impression of you in the first few seconds of your meeting. Follow these steps and add in a firm handshake to start off the conversation on the right foot:</p>
<p>Step 1: Introduce yourself using <a href="http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/six-small-habits-that-will-change-your-image-immediately" target="_blank">your first and last name</a>. “Hi, I’m Joe Smith.”<br />
Step 2: Say where you work.<br />
Step 3. Listen when as they say their name.<br />
Step 4. Repeat their name right away. “It’s nice to meet you, Lucy.”<br />
Step 5. Ask a question.<strong><br />
</strong></p>
<h3><strong> Listen</strong></h3>
<p>Listening is an essential part of the conversation. It’s especially hard to listen when you’re thinking about what the heck you should say next. So, relax and listen. Ask questions and give them a chance to really talk about themselves.<strong><br />
</strong></p>
<h3><strong> Repeat</strong></h3>
<p>Get in the habit of repeating tidbits of information your counterpart says, such as “Oh, you work at ABC Company. My cousin works there.” Repeating information helps you remember it and let’s your partner know that you really are listening to them.</p>
<h3><strong>Look for Commonalities</strong></h3>
<p>For better or for worse, people like people who are like them. As you’re having the conversation, try to pick up things you have in common so you can discuss further. This can be especially helpful for introverts who usually can easily delve a lot deeper into topics of interest.</p>
<h3><strong> Ask Questions</strong></h3>
<p>The conversation probably won’t go very far if you don’t ask questions. If you stand there saying “that’s interesting” and never contributing, your conversation counterpart will quickly lose interest and move on to someone more engaging. Here are some questions to consider asking:</p>
<h4><em>About the event you’re at</em></h4>
<p>This is the easiest way to start a conversation because there’s always something to start off with. However, if the whole conversation is about the event, it probably won’t go very far. Make sure to quickly move on to another topic.</p>
<ul>
<li>Have you been to this event before?</li>
<li>If so, how does this crowd compare to last year?</li>
<li>Do you know what’s on the dinner menu?</li>
<li>How did you hear about this?</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>About work</em></h4>
<p>If you’re at a professional networking event, this is a natural topic and one that people will be willing to discuss in detail.</p>
<ul>
<li>Where do you work? (This question is less safe if there may be stay-at-home moms in the crowd. They generally prefer “What do you do?”.)</li>
<li>What does your company do?</li>
<li>What do you do?</li>
<li>How long have you been doing it?</li>
<li>Why did you decide to get into it?</li>
<li>What do you like about it?</li>
<li>What are the challenges with that?</li>
<li>How the industry doing these days?</li>
<li>How’s business?</li>
<li>What projects do you work on?</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>About them</em></h4>
<p>One things for sure: Most people love to talk about themselves. Pay close attention to the conversation before asking these questions. If they mention something about their car, ask more about it. If they bring up their kids, ask their ages.</p>
<ul>
<li>What neighborhood do you live in?</li>
<li>Where did you go to college?</li>
<li>What did you study?</li>
<li>Where are you from?</li>
<li>How long have you been living here?</li>
<li>Do you like it here?</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>About the news</em></h4>
<p>Make sure to scan the news right before attending any event so you can speak intelligently about the hot topics. When asking questions, it’s usually best to avoid the controversial issues.</p>
<ul>
<li>Did you hear about the (recent news event – be ready to explain it if they didn’t hear it.)?</li>
<li>What do you think about the recent (insert topic that’s been in the news lately)?</li>
<li>What did you think about last night’s (sporting event)?</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>To continue the conversation</em></h4>
<p>Conversations will stall if you don&#8217;t eventually delve a little deeper into one particular topic. Ask more about the topic that interests you and see where it goes.</p>
<ul>
<li>Why do you think that is?</li>
<li>How does that work?</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>After answering a question of theirs</em></h4>
<p><em> </em>A great way to keep the conversation going is to ask them the same question they just asked you. If they asked you the question, they&#8217;re probably prepared to answer it as well.</p>
<ul>
<li>What about you?</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>Make Comments</strong></h3>
<p><strong> </strong>A barrage of questions will probably scare off your conversation partner if you don&#8217;t spice it up with your thoughts. Comments can be used as conversation starters or as conversations keepers.</p>
<h4><em>In between questions</em></h4>
<ul>
<li>Really, that’s interesting. “Really, that’s interesting, what do you like about it?”</li>
<li>I’ve never heard of that before. “I’ve never heard of that before, what does your company do?”</li>
<li>I’m glad to hear that. “I’m glad to hear that your company is weathering the economic storm. What do you think sets your company apart from so many others?”</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>About the event</em></h4>
<ul>
<li>The food. “The shrimp is great. Did you try it?”</li>
<li>The decorations. “I love the flowers!”</li>
<li>The crowd. “It’s a great crowd tonight.”</li>
<li>The people in attendance. “There are sure are a lot heavy hitters tonight.”</li>
<li>The location. “I had a heck of a time finding parking. I hope you were better off than me!”</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>Things you have in common</em></h4>
<ul>
<li>I love (insert their answer, then ask a question). “I love Chicago. What neighborhood did you grow up in?”</li>
<li>I agree (insert their answer, then ask a question). “I agree with you about the garden. Why do you think that is, though?”</li>
<li>Me too (insert comment on the subject).</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>The Close</strong></h3>
<p>Every conversation has to end. Do it gracefully with some of these closers:<em><br />
</em></p>
<h4><em> If you want to move on</em></h4>
<ul>
<li>“It was nice meeting you. I’ll let you go mingle with others.”</li>
<li>“Oh. I think that was the dinner bell. Better find our tables. It was great talking with you.”</li>
<li>“Would you excuse me? I see an old friend. It was very nice talking with you.”</li>
</ul>
<h4><em>If you want to stay in touch</em></h4>
<ul>
<li>“Let me give me give you my business card. Definitely call me if you’d like help with that project.”</li>
<li>“It was great meeting you. Can I call you about this?”</li>
<li>“I’ll send you some information about that. Can I get a card?”</li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>Final Thoughts</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li><strong>Go with the flow.</strong> Conversation is all about flow : You talk, they talk, you ask a question, they answer and ask you a question. You get the idea.</li>
<li><strong>Not every conversation will work out well.</strong> That’s ok. If you get shut down quickly, try your best not to let it bother you.</li>
<li><strong>Don’t beat yourself up if you say something stupid.</strong> It happens to everyone.</li>
</ul>
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		<title>An Introvert’s Guide to Networking (Part 1)</title>
		<link>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-networking</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-networking#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:27:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Angela</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[events]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[introverts]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[networking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlmeetsbusiness.com/introvert-networking</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are you an introvert?

Does a crowded room of people overwhelm you?
Do you feel drained after interacting with a lot of people?
Would you rather be at home writing on your blog than at an event?

 If you answered yes, you’re probably an introvert. 
Being an introvert is different than being shy. Introverts would rather be alone [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3><o:p></o:p><strong>Are you an introvert?</strong></h3>
<ul>
<li>Does a crowded room of people overwhelm you?</li>
<li>Do you feel drained after interacting with a lot of people?</li>
<li>Would you rather be at home writing on your blog than at an event?</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>If you answered yes, you’re probably an <a href="http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/am_i_an_introvert" target="_blank">introvert</a>. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Being an introvert is different than being shy. Introverts would rather be alone because that’s how they can become energized, not because they’re scared to interact with others. Introverts don’t necessarily dislike socializing, they just generally prefer to be alone or with a small group.</p>
<h3> <strong>Why you should network</strong></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">Since introverts prefer solitary activity, it can sometimes be difficult to convince yourself that you need to get out of the house and network. But, you do. (And, online networking doesn’t count in this case.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong><em>Benefits to in-person networking:</em></strong></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Learn from people you might otherwise not have met.</strong> In general, introverts enjoy learning. There’s a whole world of people to learn from out there and networking is a great way to meet them.</li>
<li><strong>Make connections with people who can help you.</strong> You could meet people who can help you find your next job, hook you up with a publisher for the book you’ve written, get you a great deal on your next car. You never know who you’ll meet when you’re at an event.</li>
<li><strong>Make connections with people you can help.</strong> Everybody loves to help other people – including introverts. You have a talent or a connection that can help someone else, and when you do, you’ll feel great about it.<o:p><br />
</o:p></li>
</ul>
<h3><strong>Where to start</strong></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you’ve been avoiding networking – or attending any kind of social event – because you don’t see the value or haven’t felt comfortable with it, follow these suggestions:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>Use the buddy system</strong></em><br />
If you’re going to a networking event and you won’t know a lot of people, ask a friend to join you. It’s even better if your friend is an extrovert and can <span> </span>introduce you to a lot of people. (We’ll talk about what to say once you meet these new people in Part 2.)</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><em><strong>Downsides to the buddy system:</strong></em></p>
<ul>
<li>You could neglect to network with anyone except for your friend.</li>
<li>Your friend could totally ditch you and leave unprepared to go out on your own.</li>
</ul>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>Pick a sit down</strong></em><br />
Sit down dinners and lunches make it a lot easier to network. All you have to do is find an open seat and introduce yourself to the people on either side of you.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Downsides to sit downs:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>You could pick a table where everyone else knows each other and totally leaves you out of the conversation no matter how hard you try.</li>
<li>If you don’t know your dinner etiquette, you might turn people off. (Hint: Follow others, you’ll be fine.)<o:p></o:p></li>
</ul>
<h3><strong><o:p>Other networking tips </o:p></strong></h3>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>Give people something to talk about</strong></em><br />
Wear something memorable. (Hat tip: <a href="http://www.defendingpandora.com/2008/04/how-to-work-event.html" target="_blank">Kate @ Defending Pandora</a>) Try a great necklace or brooch. You don’t have to go overboard, but people will talk to you if you stand out a little bit.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>Get a drink</strong></em><br />
I’m not necessarily advocating for alcohol (although it’s not a bad idea), but a drink in hand helps you seem more a part of the party. And, you might be able to strike up a conversation with the person behind you at the bar.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><em><strong>Find someone alone</strong></em><br />
Walking into a crowded party where everyone else is talking can be a bit overwhelming. After you get your drink, scour the place for another lonely soul. There’s bound to be one somewhere.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p><em><strong>Hang out by the food line</strong></em><br />
Food is a great conversation starter. “Oh don’t these stuffed mushrooms look wonderful!” Get a couple of appetizers and walk around. If you don’t find anyone to strike up a conversation with, get some more appetizers and try again.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong><o:p> </o:p>Don’t dominate one person</strong></em><br />
Introverts enjoy deep conversations, not small talk. Pay close attention to the person you’re talking with to make sure they’re as engaged as you. You don’t want them to have to use drastic measures (e.g. faking an illness) to get out of the conversation with you.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em><strong>Take breaks</strong></em><br />
It can be emotionally draining to be around all of these people for so long. Don’t let it get to you. Check your cell phone. Step outside. Visit the restroom. Take a break from the commotion so you could keep going.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;</p>
<p><o:p></o:p><strong>Now you know why you should network and how to get started. In Part 2, we’ll answer the question: What do I say once I meet someone?</strong></p>
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