Personal Development

It’s tough, but listen to criticism anyway

Hearing criticism, even constructive and polite criticism, can be painful. I mean, really, who wants to hear about the things they do wrong?I’ve got news for you - You do!The fact is most people, when hearing a criticism about their work or their actions or whatever, will immediately go one of the following routes:

1. Denial. “What you mean that report was wordy? It wasn’t wordy. You’re wrong. It was great.”
2. Dismissal. “The fact that you just told me my report was wordy isn’t even worth considering.”
3. Defensiveness. “The reason the report was too wordy was because you didn’t give me enough time to edit it. If you’d given me enough time, I could have pared it down. My other reports haven’t been too wordy.”
4. Disregard. “Did you say something to me?”

Here’s the deal: The report was wordy. Your clothes do fit you poorly. You do need to improve your organizational skills. You are too confrontational when you speak to your boss.

It’s in your best interest to admit it, fix it, and move on.

Admitting It
Admitting that a criticism is correct is the hardest part. How could they possibly say that about me? Don’t they like me? (The very fact that they’re providing you with constructive criticism is probably a sign that they like you and want you to do better.)

I have witnessed people flat out deny the things they are being criticized for. It’s almost laughable the lengths that people will go to to avoid admitting that they actually made an error.

I have no doubt that I, too, have done this. I believe we all have at some point. Some of us are just really adamant about our personal perfection.

All the time, we’re defending ourselves and our actions. And, why shouldn’t we? If we don’t, nobody else will. But, there does come a time when we need to stop and listen to what we’re being told. It could help us be better.

Fixing It
Change is hard. Maybe you’re set in your ways, you’re on autopilot, or you just don’t want to change. The truth is you’re not going to change if you don’t want to. It’s a commitment you have to make.

Of course, not everything we’re criticized for can be fixed. That’s ok. It may not be worth fixing.

Moving On
Moving on is hard for me, and presumably, a lot of people. It can be easy to fall into a trap of obsessing over our shortcomings. Once we admit that the criticism was, indeed, correct, we start thinking: How long has this been going on? Did I look stupid? How can I possibly fix this?

I believe in constant improvement and learning. Accepting criticism is a part of that. So is moving on from that criticism.

Constructive vs. Too Critical 
Of course, some of the criticism we hear simply isn’t worth listening to. Some people are overly critical to the point of just being mean. Some people certainly don’t have our best interest at heart. Some people provide criticism to make themselves feel better.

Here’s the rule: If the criticism helps you grow and improve, then go ahead and admit it, fix it, and move on. If the criticism is just to impress other people or goes against your values, don’t bother.

It simply doesn’t feel good hear criticism. But, sometimes it’s worth it.  

© 2008 Girl Meets Business.