Personal Development
Get stuck in the elevator
There’s a scene in You’ve Got Mail when Tom Hanks’ character Joe, his girfriend, the elevator operator, and one of their snobby-looking neighbors with a little dog get stuck in an elevator.
After waiting for help for hours, the woman with the dog finally says, “If we ever get out of here, I’ll start speaking to my mother again.”
The elevator operator chimes in and says he’ll marry his girlfriend. “I don’t know what’s been stopping me,” he says.
Joe’s awful girlfriend then adds, “If I ever get out of here, I’m getting my eyes lasered.”
He then knows he doesn’t love her.
What is it about these intense situations— elevator stalls, airplane dips, etc. —that causes us to think about what’s important to us? Why is it that we have to get stuck in an elevator in order to clearly see what’s important to us? Whether it’s reconnecting with something (or someone) we’ve lost or taking that next scary step to our better future?
In the first post of The YP Rockstar series, I suggested that Rockstars need to “get uncomfortable.” I can tell you from experience that’s hard pill to swallow all at once. So, take the first step: Get stuck in the elevator.
What’s important to you?
Got something to add? Every time you comment on a Girl Meets Business post during The YP Rockstar series in January, you will be entered to win a one-year membership to the WE 4 LIFE coaching program (a $588 value!) provided by Jenny Ferry of Crest of Your Life. Share your thoughts and be a Comment Rockstar!
Discussion
9 comments for “Get stuck in the elevator”
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I do love that movie & it’s a great scene.
What is important to me? I would say my friends and family. While my career comes second, it is also very important to me. I’d like to find a good balance between both.
Haha, it’s such a chick flick, but I do love it too! Great analogy and great post!
That’s excellent advice. Some of my other favorite advice has come from doing improv - the idea of always saying yes. Stephen Colbert talked about it in a great commencement speech he gave at Knox College a couple of years ago. I can’t find a full transcript, but I worked the Google on the internet machine and turned up this blog with the relevant excerpt: Stephen Colbert’s “say yes” commencement speech.
I still have a hard time putting myself out there, so to speak, but following that advice has helped immeasurably.
Not just a chick flick! I love the Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan coupling, and I saw the movie again right before Christmas (breaks my heart every time ‘The Shop Around the Corner’ closes down).
I think that people sometimes do need external factors to help reach significant decisions, in fact, often times it’s important.
When it’s just in your own head it’s easy to second guess or end up talking yourself round in circles, but when there’s demonstrable feedback from the world outside that what you’re feeling is on the money, it can give you the certainty to make a choice.
Good work Mr Hanks.
@Dollface That’s awesome! Sounds like you’ve got your priorities in order and working toward a great balance.
@Jaclyn Okay. I know it’s a chick flick. In my defense, there was nothing else on, and hey, it inspired this post! Thanks for the compliment.
@Kit - I love the internet machine! It’s interesting to hear about saying yes, I’m so used to hearing about the power of no! I’m glad it’s working for you.
@Steve - They must be playing that movie around the clock! I think you’re right. That extra external factor can really help things in perspective. Thanks for the insight.
What an interesting post.
I think that urgency and pressure will bring out the truth in most people. However, this is something I’ve wondered about for a while: How do you live for the moment but also plan for the future?
Most successful people are planning for bigger and better in the future, which automatically makes the present not the best it could be. I think the elevator phenomenon fits into this. How do we do everything we want to and live in the moment when we feel so inclined to prepare for the future?
For example: Sure, I want to fall in love and that would probably be the thing I shout in an elevator. Something along the lines of “I love ______ and I’m going to tell him!” But, right now, because I have so much I want to do with my future, I don’t want to be in a serious relationship.
It’s a weird dynamic. To be future-minded, but also want to live in the moment.
@Jamie Varon You bring up an interesting point. I would suggest reading Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. Gilbert says the reason people are unhappy (or are constantly searching for happiness) is we do a bad job of predicting what will make us happy in the future. Basically, we have no idea what choices will make us happy in the future, but we try to do things that we think ensure happiness anyway, and we usually fail. Why not take the plunge? You can’t predict the future, but you can take action!
You make a good point to “get stuck in an elevator.” I think it is good to do it now, rather than eventually be forced to think of what you would do if you “get stuck” (lose a job, being in a dead-end job or just being unhappy). Great post.