Personal Development

Gen Y Women: Change starts with us

Last week Rebecca of Modite said that Gen Y women will have to “breed a new form of feminism” as a way to combat the casual sexism that Monica recently wrote about on Twenty Set.

What this new form of “feminism” will turn out to look like is certainly yet to be seen. It’s debatable that what Gen Y women will cook up (pun intended) will look anything like the traditional form of feminism. After all, our generation isn’t exactly known for starting revolutions.

But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work for change. While some wonder if there actually is an issue here, it’s hard to deny the facts about women in the workplace. There is still work to be done.

Gen Y women, let’s have the change start with us:

1. Support each other.
Madeleine Albright, former U.S. Secretary of State, famously said, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

Too often there’s tension between “corporate women” and “stay-at-home women.” We need to support each other in and out of the workplace. Whether your dream is be a stay-at-home mom or a corporate CEO or anything in between, we, as women, should be supportive of each other. Yes, our mothers and grandmothers fought so we could work with the boys. Now, we have a choice to go to work or not. It’s up to us to support other women in whatever life decision is correct for them.

Within the workplace, we should support each other as well. That’s not to say that we should leave the guys out or intentionally favor women over men. To me, that kind of mentality certainly doesn’t promote equality. But, we can help each other, mentor each other, introduce each other, and in effect, promote a community of women that will run corporate America because of our skills and leadership.

2. Don’t sabotage each other. (Closely related to point #1, I know.)
In She Wins, You Win, Gail Evans encourages women to help each other climb the corporate ladder. Every time we sabotage another woman, we sabotage ourselves.

Sabotage doesn’t have to be as devious as holding other women back because of the whole there-won’t-be-room-at-the-top-for-the-two-of-us mentality. It can be a backhanded or degrading comment. It can be a put down in front of the boss. It can be gossip.

Sometimes we women are own worst enemies. Let’s not do this to each other.

3. Correct casual sexism when we see it.
The hardest thing about casual sexism is that it’s, well, casual. So, a casual but firm response could be the best way to stop it (in addition to Monica’s great tips on dealing with this issue). Something like, “That’s actually not really an appropriate comment” is casual enough to not seem like you can’t handle it, but firm enough to point out that you didn’t appreciate it.

Interestingly both men and women may not even realize that their comments or actions would even constitute sexism simply because of cultural norms (and just plain ignorance). Point it out by asking clarifying questions, “What do you mean?” or “What are you getting at?” These questions should be enough to get reasonable people thinking about their actions.

Always stand up for yourself.

4. Ignore the naysayers.
No matter what you do, what you say, what you achieve, there will be someone (or a lot of people) who will try to bring you down, question your decisions, and generally make you like you’re wrong. It’s tough not feed into this. This is why supporting each other is particularly important.

If you’ve made the decision to not have kids until 35 (or not at all) because you’re focused on your career, who cares what other people have to say about it? If you’ve made it your goal to be CEO of a major firm, who cares that other people don’t think you can do it? If you’re happy where you’re at right now, who cares that other people think it’s not good enough? It’s your decision, not theirs.

Some people say you can’t have it all. Ignore them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way implying that these four simple steps will solve our issues. Not even close. Nor am I necessarily implying that we don’t already follow these guidelines. A lot of us do. But, I do believe they are the steps in the right direction.

Gen Y women, will you take them with me?