Personal Development

An Introvert’s Guide to Networking (Part 2)

Introverts aren’t exactly known for small talk.

Deep conversations with one or two close friends, yes. Strategic discussion in small meetings, sure. Small talk, not so much.

In Part One of An Introverts Guide Networking, we discussed how to actually go about circulating the room. In Part Two, we’ll discuss how to hold a conversation with someone you meet at an event.

First, a couple disclaimers:

• Yes, this advice can be used by both introverts and extroverts.
• Yes, I realize introverts aren’t totally inept at making conversation. This advice is in no way meant to suggest that. It’s only meant to help everyone along with conversation, which doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, introverted and otherwise.

The Introduction

People will make their first impression of you in the first few seconds of your meeting. Follow these steps and add in a firm handshake to start off the conversation on the right foot:

Step 1: Introduce yourself using your first and last name. “Hi, I’m Joe Smith.”
Step 2: Say where you work.
Step 3. Listen when as they say their name.
Step 4. Repeat their name right away. “It’s nice to meet you, Lucy.”
Step 5. Ask a question.

Listen

Listening is an essential part of the conversation. It’s especially hard to listen when you’re thinking about what the heck you should say next. So, relax and listen. Ask questions and give them a chance to really talk about themselves.

Repeat

Get in the habit of repeating tidbits of information your counterpart says, such as “Oh, you work at ABC Company. My cousin works there.” Repeating information helps you remember it and let’s your partner know that you really are listening to them.

Look for Commonalities

For better or for worse, people like people who are like them. As you’re having the conversation, try to pick up things you have in common so you can discuss further. This can be especially helpful for introverts who usually can easily delve a lot deeper into topics of interest.

Ask Questions

The conversation probably won’t go very far if you don’t ask questions. If you stand there saying “that’s interesting” and never contributing, your conversation counterpart will quickly lose interest and move on to someone more engaging. Here are some questions to consider asking:

About the event you’re at

This is the easiest way to start a conversation because there’s always something to start off with. However, if the whole conversation is about the event, it probably won’t go very far. Make sure to quickly move on to another topic.

• Have you been to this event before?
• If so, how does this crowd compare to last year?
• Do you know what’s on the dinner menu?
• How did you hear about this?

About work

If you’re at a professional networking event, this is a natural topic and one that people will be willing to discuss in detail.

• Where do you work? (This question is less safe if there may be stay-at-home moms in the crowd. They generally prefer “What do you do?”.)
• What does your company do?
• What do you do?
• How long have you been doing it?
• Why did you decide to get into it?
• What do you like about it?
• What are the challenges with that?
• How the industry doing these days?
• How’s business?
• What projects do you work on?

About them

One things for sure: Most people love to talk about themselves. Pay close attention to the conversation before asking these questions. If they mention something about their car, ask more about it. If they bring up their kids, ask their ages.

• What neighborhood do you live in?
• Where did you go to college?
• What did you study?
• Where are you from?
• How long have you been living here?
• Do you like it here?

About the news

Make sure to scan the news right before attending any event so you can speak intelligently about the hot topics. When asking questions, it’s usually best to avoid the controversial issues.

• Did you hear about the (recent news event – be ready to explain it if they didn’t hear it.)?
• What do you think about the recent (insert topic that’s been in the news lately)?
• What did you think about last night’s (sporting event)?

To continue the conversation

Conversations will stall if you don’t eventually delve a little deeper into one particular topic. Ask more about the topic that interests you and see where it goes.

• Why do you think that is?
• How does that work?

After answering a question of theirs

A great way to keep the conversation going is to ask them the same question they just asked you. If they asked you the question, they’re probably prepared to answer it as well.

• What about you?

Make Comments

A barrage of questions will probably scare off your conversation partner if you don’t spice it up with your thoughts. Comments can be used as conversation starters or as conversations keepers.

In between questions

• Really, that’s interesting. “Really, that’s interesting, what do you like about it?”
• I’ve never heard of that before. “I’ve never heard of that before, what does your company do?”
• I’m glad to hear that. “I’m glad to hear that your company is weathering the economic storm. What do you think sets your company apart from so many others?”

About the event

• The food. “The shrimp is great. Did you try it?”
• The decorations. “I love the flowers!”
• The crowd. “It’s a great crowd tonight.”
• The people in attendance. “There are sure are a lot heavy hitters tonight.”
• The location. “I had a heck of a time finding parking. I hope you were better off than me!”

Things you have in common

• I love (insert their answer, then ask a question). “I love Chicago. What neighborhood did you grow up in?”
• I agree (insert their answer, then ask a question). “I agree with you about the garden. Why do you think that is, though?”
• Me too (insert comment on the subject).

The Close

Every conversation has to end. Do it gracefully with some of these closers:

If you want to move on

• “It was nice meeting you. I’ll let you go mingle with others.”
• “Oh. I think that was the dinner bell. Better find our tables. It was great talking with you.”
• “Would you excuse me? I see an old friend. It was very nice talking with you.”

If you want to stay in touch

• “Let me give me give you my business card. Definitely call me if you’d like help with that project.”
• “It was great meeting you. Can I call you about this?”
• “I’ll send you some information about that. Can I get a card?”

Final Thoughts

• Go with the flow. Conversation is all about flow : You talk, they talk, you ask a question, they answer and ask you a question. You get the idea.
• Not every conversation will work out well. That’s ok. If you get shut down quickly, try your best not to let it bother you.
• Don’t beat yourself up if you say something stupid. It happens to everyone.

© 2008 Girl Meets Business.