Personal Development

An Introvert’s Guide to Networking (Part 1)

Are you an introvert?

  • Does a crowded room of people overwhelm you?
  • Do you feel drained after interacting with a lot of people?
  • Would you rather be at home writing on your blog than at an event?

If you answered yes, you’re probably an introvert.

Being an introvert is different than being shy. Introverts would rather be alone because that’s how they can become energized, not because they’re scared to interact with others. Introverts don’t necessarily dislike socializing, they just generally prefer to be alone or with a small group.

Why you should network

Since introverts prefer solitary activity, it can sometimes be difficult to convince yourself that you need to get out of the house and network. But, you do. (And, online networking doesn’t count in this case.)

Benefits to in-person networking:

  • Learn from people you might otherwise not have met. In general, introverts enjoy learning. There’s a whole world of people to learn from out there and networking is a great way to meet them.
  • Make connections with people who can help you. You could meet people who can help you find your next job, hook you up with a publisher for the book you’ve written, get you a great deal on your next car. You never know who you’ll meet when you’re at an event.
  • Make connections with people you can help. Everybody loves to help other people – including introverts. You have a talent or a connection that can help someone else, and when you do, you’ll feel great about it.

Where to start

If you’ve been avoiding networking – or attending any kind of social event – because you don’t see the value or haven’t felt comfortable with it, follow these suggestions:

Use the buddy system
If you’re going to a networking event and you won’t know a lot of people, ask a friend to join you. It’s even better if your friend is an extrovert and can introduce you to a lot of people. (We’ll talk about what to say once you meet these new people in Part 2.)

Downsides to the buddy system:

  • You could neglect to network with anyone except for your friend.
  • Your friend could totally ditch you and leave unprepared to go out on your own.

Pick a sit down
Sit down dinners and lunches make it a lot easier to network. All you have to do is find an open seat and introduce yourself to the people on either side of you.

Downsides to sit downs:

  • You could pick a table where everyone else knows each other and totally leaves you out of the conversation no matter how hard you try.
  • If you don’t know your dinner etiquette, you might turn people off. (Hint: Follow others, you’ll be fine.)

Other networking tips

Give people something to talk about
Wear something memorable. (Hat tip: Kate @ Defending Pandora) Try a great necklace or brooch. You don’t have to go overboard, but people will talk to you if you stand out a little bit.

Get a drink
I’m not necessarily advocating for alcohol (although it’s not a bad idea), but a drink in hand helps you seem more a part of the party. And, you might be able to strike up a conversation with the person behind you at the bar.

Find someone alone
Walking into a crowded party where everyone else is talking can be a bit overwhelming. After you get your drink, scour the place for another lonely soul. There’s bound to be one somewhere.

Hang out by the food line
Food is a great conversation starter. “Oh don’t these stuffed mushrooms look wonderful!” Get a couple of appetizers and walk around. If you don’t find anyone to strike up a conversation with, get some more appetizers and try again.

Don’t dominate one person
Introverts enjoy deep conversations, not small talk. Pay close attention to the person you’re talking with to make sure they’re as engaged as you. You don’t want them to have to use drastic measures (e.g. faking an illness) to get out of the conversation with you.

Take breaks
It can be emotionally draining to be around all of these people for so long. Don’t let it get to you. Check your cell phone. Step outside. Visit the restroom. Take a break from the commotion so you could keep going.

 

Now you know why you should network and how to get started. In Part 2, we’ll answer the question: What do I say once I meet someone?

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Discussion

11 comments for “An Introvert’s Guide to Networking (Part 1)”

  1. [...] background information for these tips.  These points are courtesy of Angela Marino, whose blog is Girl Meets Business (commentary is my [...]

    Posted by In-person Networking for the Introvert: Tips for Success « Keppie Careers - A Head Above the Rest | April 25, 2008, 6:49 am
  2. I am an introvert by choice. I do not find any joy in socializing with any human being. Humans are all the same. Socializing is boring, redundant, primative and serves no benefit towards my survival. Socializing does more damage by listening to another person’s rants and predictable opinions. Talking about the same topic over and over is a waste of time. Talk is futile and conveys the distorted perception of others. Nothing productive results. Solitude allows me to be focused and in tune with myself and my surroundings. Absorbing the visual beauty of the natural environment. Conversely, socialing is distracting. It’s nothing more than wasteful chatter or just plain B.S.

    Posted by anonymous | April 26, 2008, 2:41 pm
  3. [...] Part One of An Introverts Guide Networking, we discussed how to actually go about circulating the room. In Part Two, we’ll discuss how to [...]

    Posted by Girl Meets Business | An Introvert’s Guide to Networking (Part Two) | May 5, 2008, 4:06 pm
  4. [...] Part One of An Introverts Guide Networking, we discussed how to actually go about circulating the room. In Part Two, we’ll discuss how to [...]

    Posted by An Introvert’s Guide to Small Talk at Parties : Brazen Careerist | May 6, 2008, 3:10 am
  5. I just read part 2 first and left a comment. I’m glad that you’ve distinguished between being shy and an introvert (I muddied up the two in my first comment even though I should know better!). I was very shy growing up but I’ve become more social and confident as I get older. However, I’m still an introvert (though, when I took a personality test with a career counselor, my results showed I was only slightly more introverted than extroverted, which surprised me). I need to recharge by myself after being around a lot of people, I prefer to meet with friends one on one or small groups and it’s not always my first inclination to strike up conversations with strangers. But knowing that my career and life can be helped by random interactions makes me want to be more open to talking with others and not seeming withdrawn.

    Posted by Joselle Palacios | May 6, 2008, 8:09 am
  6. [...] last two posts have been about introverts dealing with networking. The interest in this topic among myself and [...]

    Posted by Girl Meets Business | Random thoughts on Girl Meets Business | May 10, 2008, 8:40 am
  7. [...] taking some cues from “An Introvert’s Guide to Networking” (Parts 1 and 2) and Milena Thomas’ 30 days of courage told via Twitter, it’s [...]

    Posted by Gaining my career confidence, or at least faking it « Life Before Noon: A Millennial’s Manual | July 17, 2008, 10:01 am
  8. [...] taking some cues from “An Introvert’s Guide to Networking” (Parts 1 and 2) and Milena Thomas’ 30 days of courage told via Twitter, it’s time for me to [...]

    Posted by Gaining My Career Confidence, Or At Least Faking It : Brazen Careerist - A Career Center for Generation Y | July 18, 2008, 3:10 am
  9. [...] LinkedIn can help you extend and visualize your network, but it can’t give you networking skills — you need to develop them on your own. [...]

    Posted by Social media doesn’t make you awesome | April 14, 2009, 9:18 am
  10. [...] LinkedIn can help you extend and visualize your network, but it can’t give you networking skills — you need to develop them on your own. [...]

    Posted by Module 09 - Social media doesn’t make you awesome « Small Business Marketing Made Simple. | April 14, 2009, 11:33 am
  11. [...] this. I read all about networking all the time. I’ve even read about it on Girl Meets Business here, here, and here.” And, if you’re not thinking that, you’re probably thinking, “I don’t [...]

    Posted by The dirty little secret of success that’s actually not dirty at all | Girl Meets Business | April 20, 2009, 5:39 pm

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