Professional Development
Life: As we know it
So, I haven’t been blogging or tweeting or commenting lately. If you’ve emailed me in the past couple weeks, there’s a good chance you haven’t received a response from me yet. It’s not because I’ve stopped caring. Far from it.
It’s because my focus changed. To me. And my health.
And, it got me thinking. What about all the people who are dealing with scary health issues everyday? People who deal with real life-threatening diseases and other challenging health problems? People who have children or parents or siblings with health issues? How do they cope? How do they get through their day? How do they deal when someone is rude to them, or badgering them, or even joking with them?
It reminds me of the Plato quote that I’ve always loved: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
How to deal when life changes:
Let someone know.
I realize that health issues are sensitive and private, and something you may not want to share with everyone. But, if you have a trusted co-worker or boss, you can say, “Hey, I don’t really want to get into the details, but I’m dealing with a health issue right now. I’m working through it, but I may need a little patience”
Correct people.
It’s okay to let people know you’re not in the joking mood. You don’t need to be rude or breakdown crying (if you can help it). Just a simple, “Wow. That comment kind of hit below the belt” should suffice. Most people aren’t rude on purpose. Give them the benefit of the doubt, but let them know if you just can’t take it.
Take the time.
If you’re like me, taking the time away from business is hard. (Admittedly, it becomes easier when you physically or mentally can’t be there. But, it’s still hard.) But, the truth is, your body needs to time. If you have an ongoing condition, obviously this becomes more challenging.
Pay attention.
It’s truly impossible to know what’s going on in the lives of our co-workers and even our friends. A kind word or a simple check-in can go a long way.
I’ll admit that my experience in this area is extremely limited. That’s why I welcome your experiences and advice.
As I get back into my life from my brief hiatus, I look forward to engaging with you. And, I’ll try to keep in mind, that you, too, are fighting a hard battle.
Discussion
4 comments for “Life: As we know it”
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Hope things are better soon, Angela! Sending lots of healing vibes your way.
About five years ago (wow–no wonder it seems like forever!) I got really, really sick. I’d moved across country and thought it was just a prolonged cold, but three months later I was still only able to work about an hour a day and was seriously exhausted the rest of the time. In my case, it turned out to be a combination of a lot of different things exacerbated by very, very serious allergies (which I’d never had before), but I can still well remember trying to seem like I was holding everything together so that my business would keep going and so that no one would know anything was wrong. I wish I’d learned this then, but reaching out for help–really, really good idea ;-).
It *feels* like weakness, or did for me, and I was so worried about what everyone would think. And because I didn’t reach out, I probably stayed sick a lot longer than I needed to. The next time it happened (about a year later), I told *everyone* (not in a whiny way–just like you suggest here, “Hey, I’m dealing with a health issue, and I’ll keep as on top of things as I possibly can, but there may be times I’m out of touch for a few days,” and everyone, to a person, was extremely kind, gracious and patient with me. I didn’t lose a single client, and no one seemed to mind.
Aa-nd I’m rambling. But, mostly I just want to say that I’m really impressed by this post, and for anyone else who might be dealing with extra difficulties, know that people really do understand when you give them a chance to. We’ve all been there.
My friend recently went snowboarding and had a major accident that paralyzed him from the waste down. It was heartbreaking because his life was dance.
I do as much as I can: I go over to his house to hang out, take him out to the movies, and even try to get him to start a blog or Twitter.
I think for a man, it’s hard to talk to someone about how you feel because we’re expected to be masculine and show no fear, remorse, or sorrow. It’s especially hard for my friend to talk to people about how he feels, and I feel that’s why he hasn’t been able to get better emotionally.
I’m going to introduce my friend to your blog and hopefully it will help him.
Thanks.
- Jun Loayza
@Jessica - I’m doing much better - thank you! It sounds like you learned the same lessons I learned. And, you’re right - we have all been there. It’s easy to forget, though, isn’t it? I’m glad you’ve figured it out! Thanks for sharing your story.
@Jun - Wow. I am truly saddened by your friend’s story. That’s an overwhelming situation - one that nobody should have to endure. It sounds like you’re being the best friend you can, which is awesome. I hear what you’re saying about men struggling with the emotional side a bit more - I’m no expert, but perhaps counseling would be good. We’re all routing for him, and if he starts a blog or gets Twitter, let us know!
It is nice to see others having similar issues with the rudeness and constant questions and even the annoying pity people seem to feel they should show. The way I see it is chemo and faith are the only things that keep my father alive. It is hard. I naturally like to be alone but dealing with this everyday makes it more desirable for me to be alone whenever I can. I am so thankful my husband is so sweet to me. He does an amazing job covering me and blocking me from the never-ending stream of good-intentions but I know it is hard on him too.
Feel better Angela.
“Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So. . . get on your way.”