Personal Development
You do care what other people think
Have you ever said, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.”?
I know I have, and I also know it’s a lie.
The truth is we do care what other people think about us. Why wouldn’t we? How others view us can make or break us. It’s how we get jobs, score promotions, make friends, and create enemies.
What others think of us, like it or not, contributes to our brand, and ultimately, to our success. Think about the brands you interact with on a daily basis – Starbucks, Coke, Dell, Google, Twitter. What do these brands mean to you? Where would these brands be if they didn’t care what you thought?
When we say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me,” we really mean “I don’t care what some people think about me.” Or, “I don’t care what people think of me in this particular situation.”
If you’re Twitter, you probably don’t care what an 80-year-old woman who does not own a computer or have an email address thinks of you. But, what if Twitter didn’t care what anyone thought? Well, they probably wouldn’t be around very long. Of course, there are always going to be Twitter-haters, and maybe Twitter cares about what these people think and maybe they don’t. (We’ll get to haters in a minute.)
- Our spouse/partner
- Our friends
- Our parents/siblings/other family members
- Our children
- Our boss
- Our boss’ boss
- Our co-workers (the ones you respect, at least)
- Our customers/clients
It seems like there’s always someone who doesn’t like us, our brand, our ideas, our actions, whatever. This is a tough one because so often these haters can be convincing in their disdain for us. (some of us even have haters in the list above.) Here’s a question to ask to decide if you care: Do their values align with ours? If we stand for integrity and they don’t, then we may have a problem with each other. In some cases, we really shouldn’t care what these people think!
Discussion
6 comments for “You do care what other people think”
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Hi! I went to take the survey and I think the third question might be configured wrong. It only lets you make two choices. Just wanted to let you know so your data wouldn’t be screwy.
You’re right Angela, people do care about what people think of them.
The trick is to be aware of when and where this happens, and to make a choice about what to do next.
It’s only when this all happens automatically that people take what others say to heart or as gospel truth, and if you routinely take what others say on board without recognising it you’ll end up diluting what you do and how you do it.
So by all means care about what you chose to care about and listen to who and what matters to you - but then make a deliberate choice about what happens next.
I’ll have a go at the survey - intrigued to see what happens here!
@ Nicole - Thanks for the head’s up! I can’t quite figure out why it’s doing that!
Any Survey Monkey experts out there!?!
Anyway, thanks for taking the survey. I appreciate your feedback.
@ Steve - I agree about the choice in how to react and what to do next. Good point. And, thanks for taking the survey. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I really enjoy your blog, too! Best wishes.
Hey Angela, caring about what other people think of me is something I need to personally work on. I take criticisms well at times, but other times I can take it personally. I also always try to please EVERYONE, and it usually leaves me in a pickle because I schedule two things at once.
Is it bad to want everyone to like me? I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but I do have to keep my self-respect and be able to take criticism with a smile.
Now that I’m launching a few web shows, I feel that I will need to take criticism better than every.
Thanks for the great read
- Jun Loayza
I hear you! It is important what *most* people think about you. That’s the reason people typically comb their hair and put on a clean shirt before they go out. There are a few people who we each typically really don’t care what they think about us. In fact, in the case of people who we don’t like, you probably want them to think that your “brand” is not something they like.
Anyhow - I have gone through some personal “rebranding” lately as well. It is a tough, and often unpleasant process. I got to the point where I realized that I’m not going to change who I am. But, I will attempt to change how others perceive me. What that meant as much as anything was to find ways to let my true colors show.
As a business owner, I have to be very conscious of what others think of me, but what I also learned very quickly is that you cannot please everyone. There are just some people who will choose to dislike you, your methods, your services, or you personally and there is nothing you can do about it.
When you know that you have established your brand properly and offer the best service that you can, you sometimes have to dismiss the “haters” and chalk it up to one of those rare people whom you cannot please.
Very often, more respect will come out of standing your ground than if you’d bent over backwards to please them. In the long run, you’ll be a happier person as a result.