Communication

How to bomb a speech

Albert’s Bad Word.

That was the name of my first speech. I was in 4^th grade, and I practiced that speech a million times before presenting the day of the competition. I can still remember certain lines from that speech: “The word floated by like tiny cloud in the sky. It was dark and covered with prickly hairs.”

Before we gave our speeches, each of us in the competition had to write our names on the board. I was so nervous that I misspelled my last name! I managed to laugh, correct it, and give the speech I had practiced so many times.

When it came time to give out the awards, I was in the back of the room with the other kids representing my school. They called the white and red ribbon award winners, then the blue ribbon awards winners. Everyone else from my school had their name called. I suddenly had this horrible feeling that I wasn’t going to get any ribbon – even though everyone at least got a white ribbon (hey, I am a member of the trophy generation). I looked around at the smiling faces of my teammates, and I thought, “Oh no! I totally bombed!”

But, alas, my name was called – I had gotten the gold ribbon! The best!

And, so began a career of speech meets. I didn’t always get golds. I sometimes landed a blue or even a red.I had a knack for giving speeches.

Since the 4^th grade, I have give hundreds of speeches to literally thousands of people. In college, I was once again chosen to compete in speech competitions. The largest crowd I ever spoke to was a couple thousand at my university’s senior awards banquet. I have presented at conferences, companies, ceremonies, and competitions.

Some of the speeches were great. Some of them totally bombed.

Five reasons why some of my speeches have bombed:

1. I tried to be cool. Some people seem to have the ability to get up in front of audience and speak quite well with little to no preparation. I am not one of these people. I have learned over the years to give a fairly decent impromptu speech, but it certainly isn’t my strong suit. For a while, I thought this meant I wasn’t good at giving speeches. I know now that it takes time and practice. I would argue that everyone would be benefit from preparation.
2. I let myself get too worked up. I arrived at one of my speech competitions all ready to deliver a persuasive speech. I had charts and graphs and all kinds of support. As we were called up one by one, I quickly realized that the category was not persuasive. It was inspirational. I freaked out. I wanted to leave. And, when my name was called, I could hardly get the words out. I was so concerned about looking like a fool, that I managed to really make a fool out of myself.
3. I couldn’t stand still. Like many people, I can get awkward on stage. The more uncomfortable I feel, the more I sway and pace. If one is available, I always opt for a podium. Podiums are kind of like speech crutches. When there’s nothing between me and the audience, it takes quite a bit of concentration to look comfortable. It’s okay to move; just move naturally.
4. I didn’t practice enough. This goes back to my first point, but it’s a little different. Giving a good speech takes practice in not only what to say, but also how it is said. Practicing helps with timing, inflection, and tone. Not practicing is giving yourself an excuse to bomb.
5. I didn’t give it my all. You know the “prickly hairs” line in Albert’s Bad Word? Well, when I said “prickly,” I scrunched my face and pronounced the word so it actually sounded prickly. That was 4^th grade. Now, it can be a little harder to put myself out there like that. Just like anything else, when you half-ass something, you get a half-ass results.

But, it’s not all about bombing. Over the next two weeks, I will cover:

• The anatomy of the perfect speech
• The keys to delivering a flawless speech
• How to deal with an indifferent audience and other problems

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