Personal Development

The worst piece of advice I ever received (and lessons learned)

Like many college students, I suddenly decided that my major was all wrong. I had intended to go into teaching, thinking I would be a high school English teacher.

Then I went to my very first course on teaching. Everything about it was all wrong – the professor, the students, the coursework, the first assignment. I instantly knew that this course wasn’t for me (I dropped it after one class), which led me to the conclusion that I did not, in fact, want to become a teacher. (Ironically, I have taught during my career, but that’s a story for a later date.)

What did I want to do? I wasn’t sure. So, I did what every savvy girl in this situation does, I started asking around. What were other people’s majors? How did they choose? How did they know what they wanted to be?

I was referred to a particular professor who was said to be able to really provide insight to students with these kinds of questions, so I made an appointment and went to meet with her.

I told her my story. Didn’t want to become a teacher. Liked writing. Didn’t really want to go into journalism or creative writing. I just wasn’t sure. I was lost. What did she recommend?

“Take a year off school and explore your options.” That was her advice.

Not: Have you considered exploring the business school? What about PR or marketing? Why don’t you head over to the career center and take a personality or career test? Have you tried searching the web?

Nope. Just: “Take a year off.”

A couple things here: At the time, I had perfect grades. I was highly involved in several campus organizations. I lived on campus. I had a scholarship (a very modest scholarship, but a scholarship nonetheless). I was extremely motivated to excel. I was having the time of my life.

And, her suggestion was for me to take a year off? I was dumbfounded.

Now, I don’t doubt that this advice would be good for some people. But, I still, to this day, do not see how I was a candidate for this advice. It just didn’t fit.

I didn’t take the advice. I stayed in college, changed my major to technical writing, and everything went swimmingly well.

It was pretty easy for me to decide not take the advice. It was just all wrong.

But, it begs the question: How do you know whether or not you should take advice you’re given?

Here are some questions to ponder:

• Is this a person an authority on the subject? How so?
• Does this person know enough about you and the situation to provide appropriate advice?
• Has this person ever been in the same situation? What did they decide? Why?
• What’s your first reaction to the advice? If your reaction is strong one way or the other, go with your gut reaction.
• Is the advice something you’ve considered before? If not, why not? If so, do you agree?
• What do you like about the advice? What do you dislike about the advice?
• Do you know anyone else who has taken this advice before? What was their result?

Other lessons learned:

• Get a second opinion. (And, possibly a lot more opinions, if needed)
• Go with your gut.
• Give a clear explanation of the situation. (Maybe I forgot to mention how rewarding I was finding college.)
• Don’t sound too lost. (Perhaps I came off way too confused, which wasn’t really my intention.)
• Ask for specific advice, not general. Instead of asking: “What should I do?” Try “I think I want to major in something that involves writing, what majors involve a lot of writing?” Or, “I’ve been looking into two different majors, in your opinion, which of these translates into a better a job market?”
• Be particularly wary of unsolicited advice. We all love to dish it out, but we have to do what’s right for us.

And, what about the person who first referred me to the professor? Should I have taken her advice in the first place? I’m glad I did, it taught me a lot.