Professional Development
Define yourself, perfect your image
“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.”
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
What is your professional image?
Your image is how who you are viewed by others. What do people see when they look at you? How do your friends, and family, and co-workers view you? What about you makes them draw these conclusions? A positive image can carry you on the road to success. A negative one can hold you back.
It’s up to you to decide what image is right for you.
Explore who you are.
Before you can understand the image you have and image you want, you must understand yourself. You are unique. And, you hold the key to your success. There is no shortage of ways to learn about yourself (countless books, programs, seminars, mediation, etc.), but let’s start with these questions:
What are your values?
Values are the things that are important to us. Through my work with my life coach, I’ve developed quite a long list of values. Some of the values I have on my list are accountability, integrity, creativity, and autonomy. Your values are, no doubt, different than mine. Try writing a list of yours. If you have trouble getting started, try this exercise.
Your values should guide who you are, the decisions you make, and the image you want to portray.
What’s your personality type?
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you live in the “here and now” or are constantly thinking about the future? Are you a free spirit? A logical thinker? A helper? Understanding your personality type can help you:
- Better relate to others
- Understand why others react to you the way they do
- Make better career and life decisions
There are a number of free personality tests you can take online, or you can splurge and take the complete Meyers-Briggs Personality test. Even still, you can read up on different the different personality types online or in a book, such as Type Talk: The 16 Personality Types That Determine How We Live, Love, and Work (an oldie but a goodie, in my opinion).
You’ll not only find benefit to understanding your own personality type, but also the personality types of those around you. This knowledge can help you in everyday interaction.
What are your strengths?
What are you really good at? Where do your natural talents lie? Are you good at mediating? Creating? Connecting?
Most likely you already have inkling of your strengths. Most likely you’ll be able to look at this list and know which ones your fit you. But, because we are so often taught to look at our weaknesses, our strengths may not be readily apparent. You may want to consider purchasing StrengthsFinder 2.0 to get a good handle on your top five strengths and how you can use these strengths to better your life.
Other good book choices on strengths include:
What are your weaknesses?
While we won’t be wasting a lot of energy focusing on weaknesses, it’s still important that we know are aware of them. There’s a big difference between acknowledging and focusing. Go ahead and acknowledge your weaknesses.
Exploring yourself isn’t meant to limit your or put you in a box. It’s meant to open a world for you, so that you can better understand who you are truly are, and properly market yourself to the world. It’s only by understanding who you are that you will be able to send a clear message to the rest of the world why you’re a Rockstar.
Figure out what others think about you.
Our image, how other people view us, is how we get jobs, promotions, clients, mentors, friends, spouses, even customer service. Our image can also hold us back or it can bring us to the next level.
What kind of message are you sending?
It sounds dramatic, but everything we do, say, and wear contributes to the image we put out. While it’s ridiculous (and pointless) to try to control every aspect of your image all the time, here are a few things that deserve our attention:
Your clothing
Your choice of clothing says a lot you. First of all, in the professional world, it says how seriously you take your role. A sweatshirt probably isn’t going to convey seriousness (unless you work in a gym), but a sweater might, and a suit most definitely will.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” While this isn’t bad advice, it’s a little limiting. You can do better than that: Dress for the best you! You’re not dressing for a job, you’re dressing for yourself. In other words, if you want success, dress for it. (We’ll talk a lot more about this in the personal style part The YP Rockstar series!)
Your overall appearance
Beyond clothing, your overall appearance can play a huge role in your image. This is everything from your makeup to your weight to your fingernails. How do you carry yourself? What’s your posture like? How put together do you appear? Are you well groomed? What kind of accessories do you wear?
Whether we like or not, our appearance projects a certain image. What is your appearance saying about you?
Your attitude
Your attitude may not be readily apparent upon first glance. But, it doesn’t take long for people to figure it out, and the impression it makes can be indelible. Do you respond pleasantly when someone asks you a question, or do you roll your eyes and say, “How many times do I have to tell you this?” Do you complain when given an assignment you consider beneath you or do accept the assignment and delegate a portion of it? Your attitude should be reflection of your values. Is it?
Your words
The words you use can say a lot about you. Something as seemingly innocuous as saying “yeah” instead “yes” can be telling. Women especially need to be pay attention to the language they use. Women, including young professional women, can use weak language, such as “I think” and “I’m not sure, but, you might want to try…” This kind of language can make us seem, well, weak.
Listen to yourself; what are you saying?
Your tone
You’ve heard, “It’s not what she said; it’s how she said it.” That’s tone. Your tone can be sincere, snotty, mean, sweet, sarcastic, among other things. The wrong tone can send the wrong the message. Sarcasm is the kind of tone that get lost on people. (I know because I tend to use it a lot.) It’s important to not only watch your words, but how you say them.
Your stories
What kind of stories do you tell? Do you go on and on about the wild Friday night at the bar? Do you talk about your dates or your marital problems? Do you only tell stories about the dumb things you do? Do you share anything at all? (Not sharing anything probably isn’t the best approach for your image either!) Of course, we all tell stories. We like to share our lives with others - and we spend an awful lot of time with our co-workers! Listen to the stories you tell. Are they appropriate for your office? Do they put in you the best light? Do they cast you as the victim or the hero?
Your personality
Now that you know your personality type, figure out what kind of impact it has on your image. Do people find you stand-offish? Are you constantly telling funny stories, or do you struggle just to introduce yourself? How do other interpret your behavior? How can you use your personality to your advantage?
While this is certainly not an exhaustive list of everything that contributes to your image, it is a good start. Think about other things contribute to your image. What impact do these items have on your present and your future?
Four ways to get a better handle on your image
1. Ask others.
This is obviously the most direct way of getting feedback. But, it comes with a few problems, namely:
- Most people don’t feel comfortable giving direct feedback, so you might not get honest answers.
- Some people may have the opposite problem, and will be a little too honest. Sure, we want honesty, but we don’t want a chance for someone to dump on us.
- If you ask what to improve in your image, people will expect you to change. You may not want that hanging over your head!
If you go this route, be sure you ask people you trust and respect. Your mentor, for example, would be a great person. Some of the questions asked above will be a great place to start.
2. Videotape yourself.
You may be wondering if people actually do this. Well, yes, they do. And, it can be an eye-opening experience. I know because I’ve done it – on more than one occasion! I’ll be honest with you. It can be pretty painful. But, the payoff is worth it.
Of course, you’re usually videotaping a role play, so much of it will be superficial. Nobody roleplays how they would actually act in real life. However, you’ll be able to glean enough from the videotape to make it worth your while.
3. Pay attention to how others react to you.
Sometimes we are so caught up in our own little worlds that we forget to actually pay attention what is going on around us, and that includes how people react to us. What kind of compliments do they give? What kind of snarky remarks? What facial expressions and body language do they use when you are speaking to them?
4. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.
This is the vaguest way to go about viewing your image from the outside, but can work if you’re honest with yourself. For a week or so, watch yourself, listen to your yourself. Really pay attention. Listen to the words you use. Your tone. Take a good look at yourself in a full length mirror. Pay attention to your reactions to requests from others. What do you think others are thinking about you?
What’s the point?
The point isn’t to be perfect or to be completely devoid of uniqueness or to be someone you’re not. The point is to be the best You possible, to project an image that it’s in tune with your values, your strengths, and your personality, but is still professional and appropriate for what you want to accomplish.
You’re working on the bigger picture – your personal brand.
Got something to add? Every time you comment on a Girl Meets Business post during The YP Rockstar series in January, you will be entered to win a one-year membership to the WE 4 LIFE coaching program (a $588 value!) provided by Jenny Ferry of Crest of Your Life. Share your thoughts and be a Comment Rockstar!
Discussion
12 comments for “Define yourself, perfect your image”
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As a follow up to this post, I thought it would be fun to share:
My personality type is INFJ and my top five strengths (according to Strengths Finder 2.0) are: Learner, Intellection, Futuristic, Achiever, and Input.
What are yours?
I love dressing for the best me! I think my boss is always impressed by my sleek, sassy work outfits.
I’m gonna work very hard on putting myself in other’s shoes this month. Working on getting into a better place attitude-wise this year! I think I let my negative feelings get the better of me last year, which wasn’t great for my image.
Here is where I always stumble when it comes to trying to move ahead professionally - I’m high-functioning autistic.
There’s some level of dissociation that makes it easier for me to fake-it-til-I-make-it with purely professional stuff, but I think that just makes it seem even more curious when it compares to how I interact with people personally. I’m pretty much excluded from my immediate peer group - which doesn’t bother me, but probably does not reflect well on me personally.
It’s hard trying to balance what’s comfortable for me with what’s comfortable for other people, but I’m trying my best to get a good grasp on being sociable at work.
The word choice post was particularly helpful, and I just wanted to link to an advice post about being autistic in the workplace that’s basic but I thought was kind of a nice simple overview.
@MissPinkKAte - Hmmm. These sleek, sassy outfits have me intrigued!
Attitude is huge, and it’s hard to keep it in check. It seems like once you let it slip a little, it can get out of control. Good luck wrangling it back in.
@Kit - First of all, thanks for the sharing the link!
Second, if you like the word choice article, stay tuned - I have a little more to say to on that later on. I’m going to be reviewing a book later in the series called, “How To Say It: For Women.” You might want to wait for my whole review (it’s not totally glowing), but it sounds like it might be up your alley.
Finally, I don’t know if this helps or not, but I wrote a post a couple weeks ago about caring what other people think. Basically, what I say in the post is that while we should care about our image, we don’t need to care about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on this!
I think the biggest thing is attitude. A person’s attitude, along with their tone and words, makes them a good co-worker or friend.
I have several goals for 2009, but I also asked my family and friends to give me a goal for the new year. That way, I can see what I need to improve from the people that know me the best.
That sounds like a great idea, Carla Blumenthal! I might do that… though I’m scared to hear what they might say :X
@Carla Interesting approach to your goals! You must have a great relationship with them - that’s awesome. Thanks for sharing.
[...] it’s about branding. But, in order to brand yourself, you have to learn about yourself. You start off by doing a life audit because, after all, you are the sum of your experiences thus [...]
Some great ideas here Angela, particularly around values. It’s the place I always start at with my clients as they’re key to real success, real confidence and living a life that means something.
Love what you say using using your strengths too, and knowing the difference between your strengths and talents can be pretty insightful.
Years ago when I was starting out with my business I used a product called 360 Reach (at reachcc.com, I think) to find out what people thought of me and what image I was portraying. The feedback was incredibly useful and there were a few surprises too!
Great tips Angela.
Another image issue I’ve noticed is with social media. Just as how stories portray a person, so does social networks. I know a lot of people who want to establish a professional career, yet they post inappropriate photos on Facebook.
[...] Of course, for many, the problem is just the opposite. You know them — the oversharers. Some offices are more open than others, so it’s up to you to access your company culture to decide if sharing the deets on Saturday’s date is appropriate or not. When in doubt, ask yourself how the story adds to your image. [...]